Wishes are for Dreamers
by Yih
Summary: [Complete HPxSS] AU. The Make A Wish Foundation grants wishes for terminally ill children. The day of Harry's 18th birthday, he gets a wish of a lifetime granted to meet his idol, his inspiration the musical prodigy, Severus Snape.
1. Wish Granted

Title: **Wishes are for Dreamers** (WAD)

Author: Yih

Disclaimer:  All rights are JK. Rowling except for the lyrics and the situation ^_^.  

Warning:  This is slash, don't read if you don't like it!

Note: I'd read the lyrics, since they are a part of the story.  You won't get the first part unless you read the darn thing.  

Dedication: Malakai, for inspiring this fanfic and being such an awesome person to talk to over AIM for all my lovely fanfics!  

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1: Wish Granted (July 21, 2003 to July 22, 2003)

"Remember Without Memory" by Malakai & Yih.

_We bear scars of things long past_

_Defeated by anguish of memories_

_We recall what we want long destroyed_

_It makes no difference now_

_No difference_

_It haunts; it digs deep_

_It won't let go_

_It feeds on reminiscence_

_It devours pained remembrance_

_Pain on pain_

_Agony is life's lesson_

_Will you be crushed?_

_Somehow, rise above it?_

_Hold them inside_

_Contain them within_

_Memories without remembering_

_Keep the key hidden_

_No good comes for dwelling_

_Hold them inside_

_Contain them within_

_Memories without remembering_

_Keep the key hidden_

~

Easier said than done.  He hummed the haunting melody.  The tune wasn't easy to follow, and he still hadn't quite figured out the notes yet.  He was working on it though.  This was the song that got to him on the latest album from Severus Snape.  This was the song that made his blood sing.  He'd figure the bloody sheet music out even if it took him 'til  next Wednesday.  

He rested his forehead down on his desk as he felt a hard dizziness slam into his temples.  Damn medication.  Ruin his concentration, it did.  Closing his eyes, he let himself rest his mind just a bit.  Besides, it'd give him time to simply listen to the sweet, sweet song.  His finger went automatically to the play button and pressed it down.  

His earphones were flooded with the silky smoothness of Severus' sexy voice singing his favorite track.  It was currently on continuous repeat.  How soothing.  How bloody stimulating.  He'd heard that Severus Snape was bisexual.  If so, that'd make his day.  Not that he'd ever meet the man.  No chance in ruddy hell of that happening.  Listening to his voice was enough, it took the edge off his pain--- off his remembering.  

Such a damn tragedy he couldn't accept the scholarship he'd gotten from the Guildhall School of Music.  Such a blasted misfortune that he was currently too bloody sick to be away from the hospital for more than a few days at a time.  The darn doctors were always pumping too much shit into his system that he hardly got any time conscious, much less any time to actually think about composing.  If he ever got that bone marrow transplant, he'd cry with relief.   

His brilliant emerald eyes flickered open.  Dizzy feeling gone.  Good.  He lifted his head and picked up his pencil again.  Pressing on the back button to start the song over, he listened to the music pelting out of the Sony Discman in waves that made his ears tingle with pleasure.  A pleasure that slid down his body when he heard Severus' smoky voice rasp out the beginning lyrics.  

The tingling sensation settled into his groin like it did sometimes when he was feeling on the better side of the bed.   It wasn't an unwelcome sensation; it at least reminded him that he was still able to feel some pleasant things in life.  Too bad he'd never get rid of his virginity to really experience the joy of a sex marathon.  Between week long or longer hospital visits and being quarantined to his room when he was at home, he really didn't get the chance to meet other queers like himself.  

He dropped the pencil onto the desk and let it roll off.  He wasn't going to get anymore added notes onto the partially sheet music he'd already jotted down when he had the beginnings of a full blown erection.  Resigning himself to this fact of life, he reached into his boxers and started stroking himself lightly.  Nice.  Too bad it wasn't someone else's hand.  He definitely wouldn't mind having Severus Snape jerking him off.  But his hand was better than nothing.  

"Harry!" he heard his mother's voice calling out to him.  Damn it.  "Harry Potter!  Open the door right now!  You know what we've told you!  Don't lock your door!  What will we do if you pass out in there?"  

His mother was paranoid.  He wasn't going to pass out, but he understood her concern.  He sighed and tried to will his hard on down.  Not that it was going to do much good, look like he'd have to deal with blue balls.  It wasn't like he didn't have a good reason to keep his door lock.  He didn't particularly want his parents to walk in on him while he was wanking.  What child would?  

"Harry Potter!  Open this door immediately!" his mother cried out, her voice more anxious than angry.  Typical, his parents were both like this now.  They'd been like this for the past 5 years.  But he'd live with it hadn't he?  Too bad the sucker had to come out of remission.  

"Coming mum," he grumbled, standing up and grimacing at the ache in his nether regions.  "I'm coming, all right?"  First, he had to get pants.  That'd held hide his erection.  He nearly fell over trying to get into his pants in record time and open the door fast enough to stop his mother from bulldozing it open.  

His mother was in tears.  Shit.  He felt awful whenever his mother looked like this, and she was looking like this more and more often.  If his father wasn't such a rock through it all, he'd crack and he couldn't crack--- not when he needed to be strong for his mother if not for himself.  "Mum," he whispered softly, holding his arms out to her, "don't cry.  You know I hate it when you cry."

"I'm sorry," his mother mumbled as she wrapped her beautiful son in her arms tightly like she never wanted to let go.  "It just, there was another phone call from Dr. Pomfrey."  

Not good news then.  He stroked his mother's back reassuringly.  "It's all right.  Why don't you tell me what she said then?  I might as well know.  It's not like I'm a child anymore.  I haven't really been a child since this whole episode began 5 years ago."  He pressed a light kiss on her forehead.  "Mum, tell me.  Don't make me have to call Poppy now."  

It use to distress him whenever he heard that Poppy had called, but he knew that his doctor was doing the best for him that she could--- that she knew how to do.  He adored Poppy, she was his favorite person in the entire world other than his parents and maybe Severus Snape.  That is if he ever met the man.  He didn't really get a chance to hang out with other children, and Poppy was a fun and energetic doctor.  If he didn't have her for his doctor, he didn't know what he'd do.  

"You know how you told Dr. Pomfrey," his mum began, always calling Poppy by her proper name because she didn't want to be too familiar since it hurt to realize how long they'd been living this nightmare, "to pass you over if your donor proved a better match for someone else?  Well, it was for a girl called Hermione Granger.  I know that the match wasn't that good, but it was still something!  We've been waiting a year for this, Harry, and…"

"Hush, mum," Harry murmured consolingly.  "Listen to me, you know Poppy's right.  If I took that donor, it'd do be more harm than good.  You always tell me to believe in miracles, well maybe a miracle's coming soon now that I've done this good deed for someone else.  Even though the donor theoretically could have worked, Poppy's a brilliant doctor and you know what she says is right.  There were more that didn't match than matched.  There was a 70% chance my body would reject it."

"I know," his mother sobbed.  "I know, but it was still something."  

Harry brushed more kisses on both of his mother's cheeks.  "Why don't you tell me about what Poppy said about the donor matching… Her… that girl's bone marrow?" he questioned lightly, easily changing subjects.  It wouldn't do to dwell on long gone possibilities.   "What are her chances?  I'd like to meet her before the big day," he commented.  "Wish her good luck and all."  

"85% chance, Poppy said," his mother answered him shakily.  "She's got a 85% of her body accepting the bone marrow.  It's as perfect of a match as could be had.  I don't know if you'll be able to see her or not beforehand.  I think they're prepping her right now and stuff.  She'll probably be under sedation soon.  They don't want to waste any time."  

Harry nodded understandingly and continued to rub his mother's back.  It didn't sound right to his ears to hear his mother's voice being bitter.  That wasn't like his mother, to be bitter about anything, but he supposed it was only the selfish aspect of her maternal instincts on overload.  What parents wanted to see their child die before them?  "It's good that they aren't wasting any time."  

His mother shrugged, but didn't do much more than rest her head on her son's shoulder.  She didn't want to think about anything anymore, she only wanted to concentrate on her beloved son who she was holding right now in her arms.  It wasn't fair that her poor Harry had to go through this, wasn't it enough that he'd already gone through it once and it'd nearly killed her precious baby?

Why did the cancer have to come out of remission?  Why?  It'd been a two year struggle of chemotherapy and radiation to get his cancer into remission, and less than two years later it had unleashed itself to ravage Harry's body again.  The first bout of leukemia had been devastating enough, pushing Harry back academically so that there was no way he could catch up to his class level.  

He'd been pushed back a grade level, and all the medication had ruined his health.  He was frail now, forever fragile.  Her poor darling, her sweet baby.  It was such a blessing that while he was weak now; it did nothing to interfere with his abilities to play the piano.  As he'd gotten weaker, that'd been his lifeline--- his music.  His way to reach out; his method to communicate with the rest of the world.  It was his vent mechanism.  

The phone rang, and they sprang apart from each other.  A phone call meant two things really.  One, more bad news.  Two, Harry needed to go to the hospital.  There was a possibility that it was good news, that a new donor had been found but that was unlikely.  She took a huge breath, ready to steel herself to answer the phone when Harry patted her on the back and told her, "I'll get it, mum.  Why don't you go take a rest?  You look a tad tired." 

All of them were exhausted.  He felt weary everyday, but it hurt him to see his mother running herself ragged.  His mother needed to learn to take better care of herself, it was like she was trying to wear herself out.  He certainly didn't want that.  Darn phone had to interrupt a bonding moment.  It'd been good for his mother, he noted, she'd stop shuddering as much.  The phone kept ringing, and he said he'd get it.  Life was all about interruptions.  

"Hello?" he answered.  

"Good afternoon, may I please speak to a Mr. Harry Potter?" asked the commanding feminine voice over the line.  

"This is he."

"Very good, will you hold on a moment while I transfer you to another line?" she queried politely.  "Mr. Dumbledore wanted to give you the news himself."

What news?  And where did that name ring a bell?  Why did it?  "Sure," he muttered.  It wasn't like he had much choice as he heard the lady switch him over to another line.  Great, he hated waiting.

"Harry, my boy!" exclaimed a cheerful older man.  Dumbledore.  "You will not believe it, but we've managed to fulfill your wish!"

"My wish?"

"It was quite difficult," he rambled on, "but we managed to do it!  You will be spending some arranged time with Severus Snape!  How is that for a birthday wish?  I'm sure this has to be a very exciting 18th birthday for you, young man!  So how are you today, Harry?"

His mouth dropped open.  Was this old coot crazy?  He was going to meet Severus Snape?  His idol!  The musical prodigy?  The man he aspired to be like?  Shit.  "You're joking," he stated flatly.  "You're seriously bloody joking."  

"Nope," Dumbledore responded cheerfully, quite use to these older children that never believed that the Make a Wish Foundation was fulfilling their request.  "I'm very serious.  You will be meeting Severus Snape at the end of this week.  There are a few details that still must be discussed with your parents, though.  But I wanted to give you the news myself because I've read a lot about your special case.  And… you are a very brave young man, Harry.  I hope this wish is everything that you dream it would be."

Harry dropped the phone.  The man couldn't be serious.  He was really meeting Severus Snape… and he was rather calm about the whole matter.  He figure he'd be hyperventilating, but he supposed that all the training he'd done to keep himself collected for his mother was paying off.  That didn't mean he could speak though.  He thought he'd just lost his voice.  Bloody hell.  This was really happening.  

It had to be.  He'd heard of the Make a Wish Foundation.  His parents must have made the wish for him, knowing how much he worshipped Severus Snape.  But he didn't really think they liked the darn singer.  Yet, they had to know how much it meant to him.  This was the best birthday present he could have ever got gotten.  His bottom lip trembled.  Lord, he loved his parents.  

He saw that his mother was grinning at him, having picked up the phone and started talking to Dumbledore while Harry had been staring around in a complete daze.  "It's time we had some good news," she remarked.  "How's that for an 18th birthday present?"  

"Fan-bloody-tastic, mum!" he cried out, launching himself at her.  "You're unbelievable!  How did you arrange that?  Severus is notoriously anti-social and that whole shebang.  I can't believe this!  You're awesome mum!"  

"I pulled a few strings," his mother replied warmly.  "And Dumbledore's an old family friend of ours.  He was more than willing to help us."

Harry hugged his mother hard.  "I love you, mum.  I love you so much."

"I love you too, Harry."  

~

"No fucking way!" Severus roared at his agent and publicist and best friend, Lucius Malfoy.  "There's no bloody way I'm playing baby-sitter to a damn fan.  You know I'm not into this for the fame or the money or the fans, just the music!  And who cares about the publicity?"

"Well," Lucius remarked smoothly, "it would do wonders for your reputation.  Even if you don't want the fans, you have them.  It's time that you did something for them.  Is it so bad to be worshipped, Sev?  I recall you use to make time for your fans before, you said they were your backbone."  

"That was before life wasn't such a bloody pain in the arse," Severus retorted sharply.  "So I grew up and grew up jaded.  That's what being a musical prodigy will do to you.  I hate the limelight, and if it didn't give me a chance to create and compose whatever music I wanted to--- I'd get out of it.  But it does, so I deal with it.  But I don't have to deal with this!  This is not part of my contract!"

"We can make it a part of it."  

"LUCIUS!"

"Now, Severus," Lucius began when Severus had finished glaring dead glowers at him, "you need to calm down before you blow a fuse, which is hardly like you.  You're known, quite renown for being cool like a cucumber--- where has that all gone?"  
"Down the gutter when you walked in," Severus spat.  

Lucius brought his hand up to his chest.  "That hurt, Severus.  That really hurt.  I thought you thought better of me, you did sleep with me after all.  Are you saying you like my gutter-ness?"  

"That's not a word, you idiot," Severus sneered.  

Lifting an elegant eyebrow up, Lucius leered at his former lover.  "Well, well--- no denials, eh?  Perhaps, another go sometime?  You know you've been aching for me to take you on a ride.  Maybe after we see this wish through.  You can hardly say no, I've already telephoned the Foundation and said that it would be our pleasure to fulfill the wish.  You wouldn't want to break a young boy's heart would you?  You aren't the heartless bastard you try to make yourself out to be, Severus, and you know it."

"No," Severus snapped, "you're the bloody bastard."

Lucius chuckled lightly.  "Too bad my blood is as blue-blooded as they come."

"And your heart is as black as they come."

"Losing your sharp sarcasm?  What a pity," Lucius commented offhandedly.  "I do enjoy the challenge of your witty banter, but today you're off your usual pedestal.  You should get some rest, Severus, my friend.  You've got a full schedule booked for you tomorrow, and you will be picking the boy up at the airport when he flies in the day after tomorrow even if I have to escort you there myself!"  

With that, Lucius abandoned him to his piano and his sheet music.  Blissful solitude finally.  Destroyed, unfortunately, by Lucius' urgent news.  He growled and ran his fingers over the precious keys.  How was it that Malfoy always got the upper hand on him?  Always had, he thought with bitter remembrance.  It was such a goddamn misfortune that Lucius was only one that could get the terms he wanted for his albums.  

Complete and utter freedom to write what he wanted.  Sing what he wanted to sing.  

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**Author's Note:**  I know, I know, you people are probably throwing fits.  SHE STARTED ANOTHER FANFIC!!!  [snickers] Blame it on Malakai, she liked my plot bunny and we were talking about music and suddenly… bam… I wrote it.  I like this chapter.  I like this story, so guess what?  I'm going to write it.  Please review, I've never seen anything like this and what do the lyrics mean?  ^_~.  I like to make you think.  And I think I did all my characterizations well, what do you think?  


	2. Dream Come True

Title: **Wishes are for Dreamers** (WAD)

Author: Yih

Disclaimer:  All rights are JK. Rowling except for the lyrics and the situation ^_^.  

Warning:  This is slash, don't read if you don't like it!

Note: I'd read the lyrics, since they are a part of the story.  You won't get the first part unless you read the darn thing.  

Dedication: Malakai, for inspiring this fanfic and being such an awesome person to talk to over AIM for all my lovely fanfics!  

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

2: Dream Come True (July 22, 2003 to July 27, 2003)

"Living in Nightmares" by Yih

When you can no longer weep

When you find no sanctuary in sleep

You know you've gone off the deep end

Believe in the futility

It will mock you for eternity

Life's like that

Weeping won't help

Sleeping does no good

All you can do is fall further down

It's a nightmare of cruelty

The demon thrives on superficiality

Living is complicated difficulty

Believe in the futility

It will mock you for eternity

Life is about complicated difficulty

It's use to absorbed cruelty

The demon thrives on superficiality

~

The end of week, he would see Severus Snape face to face.  It was the end of the week.  He was going to see Severus Snape in a few minutes.  God, he was nervous.  Anxious.  Anxiety-ridden.  What if he made a fool of himself?  He didn't want to drool, but he just might.  His wet dreams were stuffed in every possible crevice with Severus' sexiness.  True, the man might not appeal to all but he definitely appealed to him.  That was what matter.

He drummed his fingers nervously on his thigh.  He hadn't really needed to fly down Edinburgh to London, he could have driven but there'd been a plane ticket with his name on it already.  So what the hell?  He took the flight.  It was fast; it made him wish that he'd taken a car instead.  Time was moving too swiftly, and all too soon it'd be over.  He wanted the minutes to creep by; he wanted to savor this time.  

"Please fasten your seat belt," the flight attendant said over the loud speaker.  "We are beginning our descent to Heathrow airport.  If you are out of your seats, please return to your assigned seats.  Thank you."  

Here goes nothing.  He slid his seat belt on and waited the fifteen or so minutes it would take before the plane landed firmly on the ground.  Butterflies were swirling around in his stomach like mad crazy things.  If the plane lurched, he didn't know what would happen.  He almost wished that his parents were here.  Then again, he didn't.  His mother most likely would launch into a full blown lecture about proper care that he needed and bore the musical prodigy to tears.  

No, it was better that his parents weren't here.  It wasn't like anything was going to happen to him.  His mother wouldn't have let him out of her sight if she didn't trust Minerva McGonagall unequivocally.  Since his parents knew Dumbledore, the mastermind behind the Make A Wish Foundation, his personal assistant was going to chaperone him.  For the job, she had been required by his mother to spend the afternoon before they left, training on how to take care of him.  

He sighed.  He knew how to take care of himself.  He had to.  It wasn't like he didn't know which pill he needed to take when, even if it was a handful of them.  But Minerva had complied, and had actually shown quite a bit of interest.  As it turned out, Minerva really wanted to do her job well especially considering Harry Potter was a particular interest to her boss.  While she was a bit rigid, once she loosened up he found she wasn't too bad.  

"Are you ready to meet your favorite musician?" Minerva asked him cheekily, her eyes peering over her gold rimmed glasses like the observant feline she was.  "I've heard he's quite reticent."

That was an exaggerated understatement.  He was the epitome of elusiveness and antisocial tendencies.  It made him all the more mysterious and alluring.  Actually, it wasn't unlike the way that Harry was himself.  He understood the need to be utterly alone with the music.  It was only in complete solitude that one was really able to compose.  No disturbance, just the harmony.  

The landing was smooth.  Compliments to the pilot.  Not that it did anything to calm the nerves that were building up incredible pressure inside of him.  Things were going too perfectly and from his past experiences, when things went too well, everything ended up being flipped upside down.  His luck always seemed to end up rotten.  Maybe this time would be different.  Big maybes.  

"Welcome to London's Heathrow Airport," announced the pilot in greeting, "we hope you have enjoyed your flight aboard Britain Airways and that you fly with us sometime soon."  With having said that, the pilot signed off and the head flight  attendant took over to give the passengers instructions in departing from the plane properly.

Same old nonsense.  All that was given was practical advice every logical person should know, like how to unfasten their seat belt.  Cynicism, hardly becoming in someone his age his mother often told him.  Not that it was going to go away, not when he was subjected to flights like this too frequently for his own comfort.  His next transatlantic flight was scheduled for next weekend, some new experimental gene therapy that Poppy wanted him to try.  Too bad it was in America instead of Switzerland.  

Minerva rested her hand gently on his arm, careful not to startle the young man.  "Time to go, Harry."  He nodded and let her guide him to the aisle, careful not to let anyone jar him since all the medication they were giving him made him continuously lightheaded.  He almost smiled at how often she checked to make sure she had his medicine bag with her.  

It was when he stepped onto the terminal that his knees began to shake.  What had Minerva told him on the short flight?  That Severus Snape was going to meet him at the airport.  Relief then disappointed flooded him.  Severus Snape wasn't there because there were no fans going crazy at the unexpected presence.

Despite his hermit tendencies or because of that, Severus Snape was exceedingly popular with the fans and highly respected by the music community.  It was an odd mix, usually artists didn't receive the esteem of both.  Then again, Severus Snape was special.  Riots only gave further evidence of that.  No crowd riots meant no Severus.  

"He's not here," Harry said dully, his eyes surveying the crowd one more time carefully but already knowing that he'd missed nothing in his first sweep.  It'd be hard to miss the tall, angular and always dressed in black rock star.  No, he had not missed anything.  Severus simply wasn't there.  

Minerva's brown eyes narrowed and with keen perceptiveness scanned the crowd in a mixture of disbelief and anger.  Good luck she'd taken this case, she thought furiously.  No singer, no matter how famous was going to hurt one of her boys!  Especially not one of Albus' boys!  "Let go!" she exclaimed fiercely.  "I've got some complaining to do to his agent who arranged this!  No wish I help arrange goes unfulfilled!"

She was all ready to charge through the crowd when a slender and beautiful young blond man stepped in front of them with a blinding smile on his confident face.  "Are you Mr. Harry Potter and Ms. Minerva McGonagall?"  Both of them nodded since they couldn't find the voice to speak.  Harry was struck by the sexy aura exuding from the platinum blond; Minerva was still shaking from her rage at Severus Snape!  "I'm Draco Malfoy," he introduced sophisticatedly.  "I'm here to escort you to where Mr. Snape is waiting your arrival."  

"Where is he?" Minerva demanded.  "He was suppose to meet Harry at the airport!  Do you understand how much Harry was been looking forward to this?!"

Admirable.  Quite admirable how Draco was taking Minerva's menacing fury.  It was even more admirable how Draco tilted his head to Minerva in an apologetic manner.  "I do apologize for the misunderstanding; however, we thought it best for Mr. Potter to meet Mr. Snape in a more controlled environment.  His fans tend to get unruly."  

Another understatement.  Harry sensed Minerva wasn't done ranting, and he understood the chaos that was being averted because of this wise decision.  Besides, it gave him more time to prepare and let his nerves stop flip-flopping in his stomach.  "We understand," Harry stated firmly, offering Draco a warm smile.  "Will you please escort us, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco grinned.  "Call me Draco.  My father's the one that's called Mr. Malfoy."  

"Draco," Harry repeated, holding his hand out, "it's nice to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry."  

~

"This is all your damn fault," Severus growled, running his hand through his long black hair in extreme agitation.  "Bloody hell, Lucius, there's no need to improve my image.  I'm already more sought after than I wanted to be!  I can't even go to a coffee house and enjoy some black coffee without being bothered by my damn fans!"  

Moving so that he was close enough to be touching but not, Lucius drawled in a low teasing voice, "It's because you're so sexy that your fans can't help but be drawn to you.  It's your throaty voice, your sensual fingers, your long black hair, your tall muscular form, and that sharp and sarcastic tongue of yours that drives them mad crazy."  

"You're not making this any easier," Severus snarled.  "Unfortunately, the child's already booked and there's nothing I can do.  Lovely, another bran dead fan that likes my music and doesn't understand the lyrics.  Simply abso-bloody-lutely fantastic.  Too bad I'm a man of my word even if you were the one giving the promise for me."  

Lucius smirked and settled his well formed body next to his best friend.  "It's the last media bit you'll have to do for a few months at least.  This will keep the magazines and the newspapers busy for quite a while.  I can only imagine the possible headliners: 'Severus Not Severe, Fulfills Fan's Wish,' 'Reticent Rock Star Grants Dying Wish,' …"

"Running out of clever commentary?" Severus interrupted snidely.  

"Hardly," Lucius retorted, "but I can't very well get you in a foul mood when the kid's due to arrive at any moment.  Unlike you, I prefer my image to the public to be more marketable in case your fans ever realize that you are a cruel bastard."  

"And you're not?" Severus shot back.

Lucius chuckled lightly.  "Not a bastard, maybe cruel.  Definitely malicious."

"I still don't know how you got such a likable brat like Draco," Severus muttered.  

"It's all that pureblood breeding," Lucius responded, his eyebrow lifted with a definite edginess to it.  "Never knew your taste ran to younger men though.  My, my, I must warn my Dragon.  Such a pity my son's incurably straight, you two would make a gorgeous couple."  

Severus snorted and shoved hard at Lucius to get him from invading his side of the couch.  "You sick pervert."  

"Now, now--- it's not my fault I see the beauty of both sides," Lucius murmured softly.  "It's such a bloody tragedy you're as stubbornly homosexual as Draco is persistently heterosexual.  There are so many more options if you were more receptive to the other sex."  Lucius gave an exaggerated sigh of regret.  "At least your fans don't know.  Your most rabid tend to be female.  Interesting enough, this kid is a boy."  He paused and gave Severus a scandalous look and winked.  "Don't make any proper advances now!"  

"You sick bastard.  He's a kid, Lucius!"

"Yeah, but he's also male and you are irresistibly attracted to them," Lucius stated carelessly.  "It's nothing to be ashamed of.  But you can't seduce a minor unless you intend to go to jail and never write music again."

"Damn you," Severus muttered.  "I hate you."

"I know."  

~  

Whatever he'd been expecting, it was vastly different.  At the same time, it suited the atmosphere he'd conjured in his mind for Severus Snape.  He'd thought Severus' quarters would be all black and sleek furnishing but he was delightful mistaken.  The rooms were decorated in sleek silver and dark gunmetal gray in an entirely tasteful manner.  Masculine yet elegant.  

"If you will follow me this way," the platinum blond young man murmured smoothly, gesturing for Harry and Minerva to tag along after him.  "Mr. Snape is expecting you in his study."  

Each step was a step closer to his dream.  Every moment brought him closer to meeting the man that he worshipped and desired.  Bloody hell.  He felt the beginnings of a full blown body blush beginning at his cheeks and spreading down to the tips of his toes.  He didn't want it to be so obvious, his eagerness to see his idol.  It was embarrassing enough as it was that he had no idea what he wanted to say to the man.  

As they drew closer, he heard voices--- one crisp and aristocratic in inflection and another that was more subdued, but no less ear catching.  No wonder why, it was Severus' silky smooth voice.  That velvet edged voice.  His ears strained to hear what they were saying, but he couldn't quite catch the words.  

Their elegant escort coughed to get their attention and gave them an apologetic smile.  "It seems that Mr. Snape is busy discussing business affairs with my father, if you won't mind waiting…"  his voice trailed off when the door at the end of the hallway in which they were heading to slammed open.  

Out stalked Severus Snape garbed in skin tight black leather pants with a dark sleek gray collared shirt unbutton enough to show his creamy chest, just enough to make Harry want to turn into a puddle of drool.  Sexy, tempting, dear god his fantasy was coming true--- he really was going to meet Severus Snape.  It wasn't just a dream anymore; it was going to be a reality.  

Reality crashed.  "I am not taking the brat on tour of London!" Severus roared at the tall, well formed long blond man that was striding toward him from the room he'd just exited.  "I have things that must be done!  I never agreed to fulfilling any child's wish!  This is your damn publicity stunt, so why don't you grant him---"  He stopped in mid tirade when he realized that the so called child he was talking about was standing there with the most distressing expression.  

So much for the dream.  This was a freaking nightmare.  Harry didn't know what to do.  He didn't want to stay, but where else could he go?  Anywhere, anywhere else but stand there and take this load of crap from--- from the man he admired most!  Turning abruptly around, he thought it was ironic justice that he was stalking out of the room not unlike Severus Snape.  

"HOW DARE YOU!" came the outraged voice of a middle-aged woman, who did not back down at the tremendous glare he sent her way.  Instead, she only marched right up to him and jabbed her finger into his chest.  "ARE YOU A HUMAN BEING?" she cried out sharply.  "Do you understand that that young man is terminally ill and is dying?  And that his greatest wish was to meet you before he goes on one of his experimental treatments that will probably kill him?

"His chances of survival are marginal at best!  Do you realize how rare it is for leukemia to go into remission twice?" Minerva asked, but more like demanded a response from the cold blooded man in front of her.  "And yet, with the limited time that he has left on this Earth, he chose to spend a week of it with you!  What's even worse is that you can't even pretend to make him happy!  Is it so hard?  To make a sweet, innocent boy that worships you happy?  Are you that jaded?"  

Awkward silence descended.  It was only disturbed when Draco just gave Severus a glance that said 'you've messed up big time, but I'll see if I can fix it' before strolling off to follow Harry's abrupt retreat.  No one left in the room said anything, though Minerva kept glowering at him with quite a bit of bite for a woman of her size.  Severus was mildly impressed, though he'd be damned if he showed it especially since Lucius was looking too full of himself.  

Everyone seemed to be waiting on him.  Why was he always the one that had to do something?  Because he was famous.  Because he was the celebrity.  Because he was Severus bloody Snape.  If he didn't love making music so much, he'd really think that he was being punished for his natural talents.  But when he played, he forgot about everything else. 

Unfortunately, he tended to do that more often than he should.  This was one of those cases.  He'd forgotten that his life wasn't only about music; it was also about the fans to.  While a good majority were annoying prats, this kid--- actually the kid hadn't looked like a kid but rather like a young man around Lucius' son's age.  Definitely not a child, not even a boy--- he was a young man.  This fan wasn't just any fan, this fan was a terminally ill fan.  

Rotten selective memory.  He'd let that part totally slip from his mind.  He certainly hadn't meant to upset the young man, even if he was rather irritated with Lucius.  Narrowing his dark eyes, he glared at his best friend with enough venom to kill the condescending git if he'd been a serpent.  Too bad it failed to ruffle the conceited Malfoy.  Nothing did, actually.  

"I had not realized that…"

"Harry Potter," Lucius supplied the name.

"Mr. Potter had arrived," Severus continued his explanation to the glowering woman standing in front of him.  She was a good deal more formidable than any that he'd recently had recently had the displeasure of meeting.  Impressive really.  "My hasty words," he remarked, "were in no way aimed at his person, but at my…" he let his eyes drift to where Lucius was standing with casual elegance, "agent who arranged this without letting me know until it had already been finalized."

"That is still no excuse!" Minerva retorted.  "You should have shown him more courtesy than you did, especially when you saw that he was standing there eagerly awaiting to meet you!  You've crushed his spirits!  What are you going to do?"

"Yes, Severus," Lucius drawled, "what are you going to do?"  

Fuck.  He had no idea.  Bloody hell.  

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**Author's Note:**  I must say if I get as many reviews as I did for the first chapters, I'll continue this thing.  I'm writing this on demand only ;p.  So the more that demand it, then the sooner I'll write it.  It's competing against MOP and well MOP has an outline and this out of the blue fanfic doesn't ;p.  

If you want updates, join the MOP mailing list (link in profile).  So does the 2nd chapter live up to the first?  How do you like the integration of Minerva and Draco?  Severus' reaction?  Poor Harry?  Second song meaning?  What do you think will happen?  Review please!

Sev going after Harry is a given, but here are your choices for additional scenes: 'Mione's transplant, Draco & Lucius talking, Draco comforting Harry scene, Draco getting upset with Severus.  (add why you want the scene too).

Thanks to Tati, Shnna Seanachai, Zatara, Chrisie (pun was intended), Jiltanith, Hippy Flower=Voldie's kid, Corgi, ChibiK, Eaiva le Fray, Lapis Lazuli, FantasyChick, Trinalla, BlackUmbridge, Coo, Kimdalia, Mia, Midnight Flower, Aimee Mariesky (it is an AU), Alicorn, Malakai (of course not, I interrogated you too much during the IM convo), witchchild (I do try to be odd girl out), Naia, Jewelclaw Lady of Wind, Vy, LauraBlade, Kateri, chibi, Agent0069, Black Rose, Quickjewel, Ms. Padfoot, wintermoon.  

Domaris: Aw how cute.  You book-marked it!  

Jane: Yeah, I know.  This was suppose to be an Orlando Bloom fanfic, but the site that hosts it went down so I turned it into a Harry Potter story instead.  I'm more obsessed with Snape than OB anyway.  I just didn't really want to do another HP/SS, this might overshadow MOP. 

Tempest: Yes he does.  Leukemia ;p.  

Sela: You and a crowd of others it seems.

Artemisu: I actually devote a bit of dialogue to Harry's adversity too.  We'll see if this ends happy or not.  I have a tendency to both.  My stories are split btw happy and sad.  ^_^ and open.

Setsuri: 'Mione will be discussed, she's probably the character most like me in the Trio.  So how can I not include her?

Abraxis: _Don't hold onto the past, it only drags you down, is the main premise of the song.  _Harry won't let his cancer stop him from enjoying the rest of his life that he has left.  The first song is for Harry.  The second is for Severus.  And you're right about the rest of the chapter adding to the song.

The Goddess Artemis: I would read the songs, they add to the character, depending which song is about which character.  


	3. Fixing the Reverie

Title: Wishes are for Dreamers (WAD)  
  
Author: Yih  
  
Disclaimer: All rights are JK. Rowling except for the lyrics and the situation ^_^.  
  
Warning: This is slash, don't read if you don't like it!  
  
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3: Fixing the Reverie (July 29, 2003 to August 2, 2003)  
  
He was not good with children. That was one reason he thanked the gods above him that he was gay and not straight. No chance of having children, unless he married a psychopath that wanted to adopt. No bloody way that was going to happen. It wasn't like he could stay in a permanent relationship long enough for that. It was just too bloody hard.  
  
"You should go after him," Lucius murmured into his ear suggestively. "Stop thinking and just go after him. I'd enjoy seeing you have to grovel and beg a bit. All this bloody fan worshipping is making you a complete prick."  
  
Severus glared at him. "What makes you think I'll do that?"  
  
Lucius smirked. "You'll have to if you want him to even look at you seriously. He may be a huge fan of yours but he isn't like one of those drooling fangirls. If he has an ounce of pride, he'll make you crawl on your hands and knees. You deserve to. I may be malicious but christ, Severus--- he's terminally ill! Could you be more cruel to him? More of a heartless bastard?"  
  
Terminally ill people hit close to home for Lucius, Severus knew. Narcissa, his wife had died from breast cancer ten years ago. While he hadn't been madly in love with her, he had loved her--- they'd been best friends. All three of them had been great friends. Lucius had been devastated when she'd died.  
  
There was nothing Severus could say to deny what Lucius had said. He had been a complete bastard to the boy, and he really hadn't meant to be. If he had known the child was there in the room, he wouldn't have said what he'd said. It wasn't like he wanted to hurt the boy's feelings; he just needed to get his frustration vented out at Lucius. The aim had been to relieve his anger before he met up with his fan so he wouldn't lose his temper.  
  
There was nothing to do but grumble. Which Severus did as well as running his hand violently through his silky raven locks to give his hands something to do. "At least I'm not slimy and sly."  
  
Clutching his heart dramatically, Lucius faked a hurt expression with the ease of a well versed actor. "Your words wound me, Sev." Severus narrowed his eyes, he hated when Lucius shortened his name. A fact Lucius was quite familiar with. "They really do. I've got scars from the sharpness of your tongue, imagine what you did to poor Harry who isn't accustom to it?"  
  
Words were Lucius' favorite weapons and he was far too skillful at using them. Then again, Lucius always did have a talented tongue. Just thinking about Lucius' talents made him recall their past pleasurable liaisons. Maybe he'd take Lucius up on his offer. It'd been a long while since he'd relieved himself sexually. That might explain his foul temper. It was starting to get to him.  
  
"You need to go after him," Lucius reminded him, his expression not bemused anymore but grave. An upset terminally ill kid was nothing to laugh about. "You won't get any peace of mind 'til you do."  
  
~  
  
It was a striking sight, seeing the crushed young man standing next to the expanse of glass that oversaw an excellent view of London overhead. Grave, solemn expression that didn't suit his boyish though classically sculpted cheekbones. A beautiful boy, his father would certainly eat him up. If his tastes ran in that direction, he might have been severely tempted. Even if he wasn't so inclined, it was hard to deny the young man's beauty. But he was unfortunately straight. It didn't stop him from appreciating the graceful form however. Malfoys enjoyed the finer things in life.  
  
"He didn't mean what he said," Draco murmured softly, not wanting to startle the young man. "He was just trying to rankle my father," he tried to explain, though it sounded like a lame excuse. "He really does care about his fans. It's just that he doesn't socialize well."  
  
"I know that," Harry said with a small smile. It was as he turned to smile at the elegant blond that he noticed the magnificent grand piano situated in the far corner. It called to him like the music that hummed in his veins. Addictive compulsion. He had to move to the piano, had to touch it.  
  
Draco watched in utter fascination as Harry ran his fingers lightly over the keys. The reverence paid was like that of a lover's gentle touch. It was aching similar to the way Severus treated his instruments. Funny coincidence. "Do you play?"  
  
The voice broke the intensity of the pull, but it didn't dissolve it. It did however bring Harry out of his daze. He looked up from his absorbing stud y of the piano and met sapphire eyes with his own emerald ones. "I play."  
  
"Why don't you play then?" Draco offered amicably.  
  
Harry hesitated, thinking Severus Snape wouldn't like having a stranger playing on his piano. But what the hell? Who cared! He hurt, might as well play--- it'd temper his raging emotions. Only music had the ability to soothe him. He found himself nodding and saw Draco grinning out of the corner of his eye. Here goes nothing. Poising his fingers over the keys, he thought momentarily what he would play.  
  
Classical? No, he needed something edgier. Snapish. It seemed only fitting to play one of Snape's compositions on his precious piano. Sweet justice. Crashing his fingers with the precision of a master piano player, the piano sang the dark melody--- haunting and devious of the broody yet smashing successful single of "Living in Nightmares."  
  
~  
  
"This is for you," Poppy said softly, not wanting to disturbed the harmonic scene that one of her very favorite patients made sitting on the window sill letting the wind blow through her long dark hair. Hermione looked very good considering what she'd just come out of a few days before. "It's from Harry." She handed Hermione the square white envelope. "I thought you might like to have it after your transplant surgery."  
  
Hermione had heard a lot about Harry, he was the boy that was giving her a chance to live. It was too good of him to give her a gift like this when his own life was slipping out of his fingers. She didn't know if she could be as selfless as him even if the probability of the transplant succeeding was as low as it was. It was still something, and by giving this up--- he had nothing.  
  
It was a miracle when she had first heard word. Her parents had lost hope; she had lost faith. But out of the blue, Poppy had called her to tell her that their was a bone marrow that matched hers. That another one of her patients was passing over the bone marrow for her since it matched her so well even though he was next in line. Even though, theoretically the bone marrow matched him well enough for him to be the first one to get it, considering how long he'd been on the list.  
  
But he'd let her because it almost guaranteed she'd live. It was a close to perfect match, such things like this didn't happen often. Rarely was there an 85% chance of success. It was a miracle. She smiled at Poppy sweetly. So far everything was going excellently. It looked like her body was accepting the donation as her own bone marrow. "I'd like that very much. Thank you." She took the envelope and carefully opened it. A note and a CD. She looked at the note first.  
  
It read: Never give up. Never. I'm rooting for you. Believe that a miracle's arrived. --- Harry Potter.  
  
She glanced down at the CD, wondering what was on it. She then looked up at Poppy with a questioning expression, thinking that Poppy might be able to explain. "Harry plays music. I think he recorded something for you."  
  
"Oh." Hermione touched the CD lightly, immensely touched by the endearing gesture. Such a sweet boy, she hoped a miracle came for him. She popped the CD into her Sony Discman. She pushed the play button and the song burst out into her headphones. Soft and beautiful, harmonic. At first she thought it was merely instrumental when a throaty voice yet sweet sounding voice filled her eardrums. It must be Harry's voice. A good though not great voice. Not a true singer's voice but more than decent.  
  
It wasn't his voice that made her want to listen to the song. No, it was the hypnotic music in the background and the beautiful lyrics. The message of the song was so uplifting; it was exactly what she needed after her surgery. It was the perfect song for the moment. So optimistic, when she did have hope rising in the horizon.  
  
"Wishes are for Dreamers" by Yih  
  
Wishes are for dreamers  
Dreams are for believers  
But what is left to believe in?  
That a miracle is coming  
  
Faith remains to those who are faithful  
Mercy comes to those who are merciful  
You get what you give  
  
People say life isn't fair  
I don't believe them  
Life isn't always fair  
But it isn't always rotten either  
  
Wishes are for dreamers  
Dreams are for believers  
But what is left to believe in?  
That a miracle is coming  
  
It's coming for those who believe  
What is left to believe in?  
That a miracle is coming  
And it's coming, coming soon  
  
Voice Out: I wrote this song when I was still innocent.  
It's hard to believe, but I want to think life's still decent.  
  
~  
  
Who the fuck was playing on his piano? That was the first overriding thought. He was damn good. That was the second and the much more tamer thought as his anger cooled. It could be Draco. No, it couldn't. Malfoys never played with passion. It's what made them fine businessmen but unimaginative artists. They lacked the ability to let loose. An integral gift of a true musician.  
  
It wasn't Draco, then who was it? There was no one else that could play that well, unless it was. but it couldn't be--- it was the brat. He couldn't deny it, not when he was seeing it with his own eyes. The boy had talent, certainly the passion behind the music. Simply brilliant. Even his finger movements were inspired.  
  
"He's good," Lucius murmured like velvet into his ear as he ranged up behind Severus. "Very good. Then again, I knew he would be. I did choose him after all."  
  
"You knew?" Severus asked, trying to keep the astonishment out of his voice.  
  
Lucius nodded thoughtfully, staring at the breathtaking scene his son made with the dark hair young man bending over in the posture of a passionate piano player. It was nothing like the dignified pose that Draco took when he played, there was a driving force behind Harry's playing that Draco lacked. "I knew that he played the piano," Lucius remarked, "but I did not know he played like that."  
  
Obviously one could not glean that kind of information from a profile sheet that Lucius must have gotten from that McGonagall woman. True, it may have said he was a talented piano player, but Draco was gifted and he was not like this. It took him a moment to recognize the song that Harry was playing as one of his own compositions. The boy had changed it, the nuance of the music had been altered. Cleverly. It sounded almost like a different song entirely.  
  
He stepped into the sitting room. Immediately, he felt Draco's silver eyes rest on him. They were reproaching and forewarning. Do not harm Harry. He gazed back at Draco, meeting his eyes with his own. His look wasn't challenging, merely accepting. He was the one at fault, and he knew it. What he had was said was unforgivable. It was snarky and snide, even for him.  
  
Using the mellifluous voice control that he'd been coached through by his voice instructor, he made the tone he used to address the young man warm like heated honey, "You changed my song."  
  
Harry knew that voice anywhere. It was Severus Snape. His body stiffened and he stopped playing mid song. At first, he was alarmed to hear Severus' voice, but he quickly got over that feeling. While he was more hurt than angry, it was his fury that appeared on his face when he turned his head to where Severus was standing. It was a defensive mechanism; he'd gotten good at maintaining a façade. He had to for his mother's sake. He didn't want her to know he felt as hopeless as she did. She was already crying herself to sleep every night as it was. His brave front made it easier.  
  
The ferocity of the boy's--- no the young man's expression held as much emotion as his passionate playing. This young man was an artist, how intriguing. Very few people had the creative intuition that composers had to have. There were even fewer people that could manipulate one of his compositions into something like that--- so different yet so familiar. That was a gift.  
  
Maybe the week spent with Harry wouldn't be so bad, he mused. Of course, first he had to repair the damage he had wrought in his misinformed vent at Lucius. It'd be easier if Harry was fickle, thought it pleased him that he wasn't. As Lucius had warned him, this wasn't going to be easy. All the better, he decided, since he thrived on challenges. The stern press of the young man's lips gave every impression of a stubborn mindset. A challenge he would be. Excellent.  
  
He ought to apologize, but that wasn't his style. Even the wily and manipulative Lucius was hard pressed to get an apology wrung out of him when he didn't want to apologize. He didn't particularly want to now, even if he should. Anyway he didn't think saying sorry would do any good. Actions spoke much more decisively than words ever could. He was going to have to be considerate. Bloody hell. Lucius was going to get a kick out of this.  
  
"You play my piece," Severus remarked, "even with the variations fairly well. Can you play a piece of your own or do you merely copy other people's hard work?"  
  
It wasn't exactly overly considerate, but this was his normal personality speaking. He wasn't about to change it, though his conscience did remind him to be a little kinder with his diction than usual. Point taken. It appeared that his response was just what the doctor called for as Harry glared at him in one long lingering look before turning back to the grand piano.  
  
"How dare you!" Minerva cried out, having followed Lucius and Severus into the sitting room though not having caught their privately whispered conversation. "I'll have you know that Harry---"  
  
"Minerva," Harry cut in sharply, "I can handle this myself." Indeed, he could. While he still ached a little inside, his anger and desire to prove that he wasn't the typical drooling fan were overriding his pity parade. It was a good thing too. He disliked feeling self pity. It was a disgusting, wretched emotion. He hated falling into that hole.  
  
Also, it didn't hurt the logical part of his brain had kicked in either. It must be bloody hell to be harassed by annoying fans when all you wanted to do was write the music churning in your veins. That thought didn't make the pain go away, yet at least it justified the source. Luckily, Severus had ignored the situation and had isntead acted in the manner that Harry expected.  
  
Sharp. Critical. Blunt. What a welcomed relief. He hated self pity, but he despised pity from other people even more. It was intolerable; it was unbearable. This request was bearable, and it was tolerable. Music he could play. Music he could deal with. It was his lifeline. As his mother fondly said, it was his vent mechanism. Too true.  
  
"Will you play?" Severus asked softly, seeing the conflict of emotions cross over Harry's face.  
  
Harry stared down at the gleaming white keys. His biggest dream had always been to play one of his compositions to Severus Snape. Now he had the chance and his mind was blank. What to play. what to play? His mind had drawn an utter blank. His first thought was to play Rhapsody, but his gut said to play something else. He wouldn't have even consider it if he hadn't recorded it a few days ago.  
  
The original title had been 'Wishes are for Dreamers,' but since he'd sung the song for Hermione Granger--- he'd gotten around to calling it 'Hermione's Miracle.' It wasn't a great composition; after all, he had written it when he was 12. But it was a sweet and optimistic song. It had a positive outlook on life. Then again, he'd written the song before cancer had ravaged his body.  
  
"Please play," Draco murmured.  
  
Someone was asking him to play. His forefinger touched the A key, it was compulsion to play when someone asked. He had played the first note of 'Hermione's Miracle,' there was no going back now. Positioning his other hand over the keys, he let the melodic tempo of the song guide him. It was a happy song, a hopeful song--- a song that believed in better.  
  
His head was bent down in concentration, his raven black hair covering his vision. The way his lightly tanned hands glided over the keys spoke of a familiarity only a composer had with a piece composed by himself. It was a breathtaking sight. Severus fought the urge to smile. This song was happier than expected, a song that resounded and resonated vibrations of blessed joy.  
  
It wasn't to be expected from a child that had death written in the wings. Yet it did seem to fit Harry. Everything about this young man pulsed out purity. Highly unusual. It was intoxicating. Mental warning flashed in his mind. Damn Lucius for even putting the thought in his head. Why did the boy have to be so obviously a young gorgeous man?  
  
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Author's Note: Thanks for all your reviews! I've never received so many before. It makes me smile ^_^. Unless something happens to my muse, I will update weekly. I like what I did for the Hermione scene, even if it doesn't give that much info. Keep reviewing ;p. It makes my muse write. Choices: HP/SS is given, a Draco scene, a Lucius scene, a 'Mione scene--- reasons?  
  
Severus' Song/Voice: I see his music a bit of a mixture of Dido/Evanescence with a voice like Jason Mraz (The Remedy) or this Korean guy -drools- his voice is SEX. I'll try to upload a clip for you guys to download if you're interested on my fanfic blog.  
  
Thanks to Starlina, MA (eventually yes), Veritas4Eternity, DraconisSenshi (you're back!), Louisa, Lady LaCroix, Hippy Flower=Voldie's kid, Nightshade, athenakitty, kat, fan, Magami, Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU (I ADORE your fanfic, I need to review it, just haven't had time w/ my writing, I will though!), ntamara, Elizabeth, Kimdalia, BlackUmbridge, Melanie, IceTastesNice, Erica, Rose in the Globe, Ms. Padfoot, April Flower, Black Rose1, Wolf Lupin, Jewelclaw Lady of Wind (Minerva's Ms. Overprotective), abraxis (the demon is life), Deus, wintermoon2, Lady, selua, slytherinsela, Midnight Flower, Quickjewel (got you out of bed, uh huh!), Corgi1, Kateri1.  
  
Setsuri: I hope the 'Mione scene pleased you. I thought it was sweet. And I hope my additional of Harry's musical talent was just what you asked for! You definitely helped kick my muse in continuing in the direction.  
  
Domaris: Severus is back with a fury! I hope you're still left salivating for more.  
  
oldone: You're spot on--- on the foil theory.  
  
Lapis Lazuli2: I hope to finish this for you sweetie!  
  
Jane: The road isn't going to be smooth, I'll give you that. OB fanfic? He'd be an actor instead of a singer ;p. And I wouldn't have to think he's famous 'cuz he is!  
  
Malakai: Considering you're the inspiration for this fanfic your opinion matters most! UST is my thing! Tense atmosphere! When will it erupt?  
  
Tempest8: Draco did some sly underhand action instead, satisfied with his part? You're dead on, the song is Severus'.  
  
Eaiva le Fay: You're my most faithful reviewer. You always give me an opinion and I thank you for it! You're awesome! I live for your reviews! Yes, Harry's parents are Lily and James. Remus and Sirius may show up, depends on how long I make the story. 


	4. Growing Attraction

Title: Wishes are for Dreamers (WAD)  
  
Author: Yih  
  
Disclaimer: All rights are JK. Rowling except for the lyrics and the situation ^_^.  
  
Warning: This is slash, don't read if you don't like it! Non-magic AU!  
  
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4: Growing Attraction (August 2, 2003 to August 7, 2003)  
  
"Rhapsody" by Yih  
  
In this barren wasteland that is life  
There is darkness and endless strife  
We seek a blessing that cannot be found  
Miserable existence must be drowned  
  
So the embittered ones say  
They believe in pessimism  
Nothing will change their way  
It overshadows all optimism  
  
Believe in what you will  
No one can say your thoughts are nil  
Someone's hell is another's ecstasy  
Who can say what is one's rhapsody?  
  
"I wish I could play like that," Draco said wistfully when Harry had stopped playing. "Too bad I never had the desire, even if I do have the natural gift."  
  
His father merely smirked; Severus rolled his eyes; Minerva's eyes popped open. Harry was amused by Draco's blatant arrogance, not that it was unexpected. On their ride to the penthouse that Severus was staying at, Harry had gleaned that Draco was a very confident young man. It was a nice change from the insecurities that the majority of teens seemed to suffer from.  
  
"You'll have to play for me sometime," Harry remarked with a beautiful smile. "I'd like that."  
  
Draco grinned and then glanced at Severus' direction. "I will if you want, but I thought you were here for Severus Snape. Wouldn't you like to hear Severus play for you? I think he owes you something for his little outburst earlier," he commented slyly, an exact mimic of his father. "Hmmm. I think that's a good idea. You two should spend some time together alone, that way Severus knows that you're not just another ruddy fan. And Severus can prove he's not as much of a bastard as he seems."  
  
A piercing glare was sent Draco's way, but Severus could hardly do anything to avert what was happening since Lucius was giving the idea his full approval. Trying to work against one Malfoy was hard enough, working against two of them was virtually impossible. If he had no chance, that blasted banshee of a woman certainly didn't. She gave a good fight though before Lucius and Draco dragged her out of the room.  
  
Great. He was alone with the young man, this was a disaster scenario waiting to happen. Lucius knew he was no good with children! Well, Harry wasn't a child. That much his body was telling him. He wasn't aroused yet, thank god for that one small mercy. But he was attracted, stimulated. It had to be boy's talent. Musical ability always attracted him. It didn't help that the young man was gorgeous either.  
  
His kind of gorgeous, dark and tanned not blond and pale like Lucius or Draco. Nice body too, not that he could tell much with the shirt off. The righteous part of his mind gave the part of his brain that was studying Harry a mental slap. It was wrong to think of this. He was likely over the age of consent though. Still he was more than a decade younger than him! Damn Lucius and damn himself for not getting laid in months.  
  
It was his own bloody fault, he mused with dry humor. Not that he could help but be tempted. Sexual abstinence coupled with the fact that the young man in front of him was delicious looking was making it very hard for him not to be drawn. Lucius was right. He was irresistibly attracted to anyone with a prick that was reasonably good looking. Harry was more than reasonable.  
  
He was beginning to think this was Lucius' conspiracy against him. Hadn't Lucius said he'd picked Harry? It would be just like Lucius to pick the boy for sentimental and ulterior motives. What was even more telling was that Draco had come up with the idea to leave him alone with Harry. Draco was always willing to help his father out, all that family ingrained loyalty.  
  
"I'm Harry Potter," the young man introduced himself, holding his hand out amicably. Since when had he moved from the piano to stand in front of him? Good height too, not taller than him, standing at about 5'11--- rather perfect size. Why was he noticing all this nonsense? Because he was attracted to the body and the talent. He'd be damned if the boy had a half interesting personality.  
  
"I'm 18 years old, and I've been playing the piano since I was three," he continued, not really knowing what to say. Harry knew he should still be upset at Severus Snape, for what though? Disregarding the fact that he was miserably sick person? That he should be treated like a fragile thing that could be broken if brushed by a feather? No, he hated being handled in that kind of fashion. He was upset only that Severus hadn't wanted to be with him. This was his greatest wish, and it was his wish's greatest nightmare.  
  
The boy was rambling, Severus noted, because there was nothing better to do. He thought that Harry should still be mad at him, but maybe the boy was fickle. The anger that had been on his face had dissipated. Then again, it could just be the music that had washed all the raging emotions away. Music did that, he knew very well. It calmed and it soothed. Plus, the boy was well over the age of consent.  
  
"I'm Severus Snape," he heard himself saying in a rather kind tone. Why had he said the obvious? Awkward silence. He really was no good at communicating with strangers. Public appearances always made him feel ill at ease. "You play the piano well."  
  
Harry smiled. So the rumors were true. "You aren't a people person."  
  
"No really?" Severus snapped dryly, not realizing he'd already broken his vow to try and be nicer to the boy. "It's only the reason that I avoid the media like they were the horde from Dante's hell."  
  
"You've read The Inferno?" Harry questioned lightly, but it was his eyes that really showed he was interested. They lit up and sparkled brilliantly like the finest emeralds. Small details like that were going to be the death of him. Being detail oriented did make Severus a damn fine musician, darn perfectionist driven tendencies that made his compositions as flawless as possible.  
  
Severus nodded. "What fool hasn't?" he sneered lightly.  
  
Harry grinned. "My godfather."  
  
"Terrible," Severus commented, feeling a bit more at ease to know they shared more than a love of music. Nothing annoyed him more than arrogant gits that were obsessive compulsive about one medium that they remained totally ignorant about anything else. "Anyone that finishes grade school should have read that work. It's classic literature at it's finest."  
  
"Did it inspire the demon references in your songs?" Harry asked, curiosity blossoming. He'd always wondered on that fact. While Severus' music wasn't what one would term 'optimistic music' it did carry a very reality based message. It was philosophical; it was figurative to the point of being literature. The references weren't lost on Harry. There was little he could do when he'd been bedridden but read books and listen to music.  
  
"Not for the song that you played," Severus answered frankly, the posture in his shoulders relaxing. It was often he got to converse about his love of literature. With Lucius it was all about business and what not, and Draco was simply Draco. "But yes, it is a reference in my other songs. The demon from the song you played is a reference to the imp in Edgar Allan Poe's The Imp of the Perverse."  
  
"I haven't read that," Harry mused out loud. "I believe Poe was an American poet?"  
  
"He was a poet, but his prose is equally outstanding," Severus remarked. "All together a remarkable writer, too bad he was quite stable in the mind. Then again," he smiled faintly, "all artists are said to be slightly mad." He turned his dark eyes to Harry, wondering if he was offending him since it was clear the young man likened himself to be an artist. "If you liked Dante's works, I can let you borrow a collection of Poe's short stories."  
  
"I'd like that a lot." His eyes were still shining, but they were noticeably more reserved after Severus had made that critical comment on artists. It wasn't that Harry didn't agree, but it was because he agreed with it too much. His music set him apart. It was why he'd been overjoyed to be accepted at Guildhall, to be with people like him would have been a blessing. He wouldn't have felt like such an odd duck.  
  
Severus sensed the change in the atmosphere, it had suddenly darkened in a mild gloominess. It must have been his comment, he sighed inside. He needed to watch his tongue. The boy really was too innocent, it was almost charming. Impatiently, he gestured for Harry to rise from his seat on the bench. "Then follow me to the library."  
  
~  
  
It was the first time in days she had felt a negative emotion. Disappointment, keen disappointment. She sighed as she placed the phone back onto the receiver. Her conversation with Mr. Potter had been disheartening. Her dearest wish was to be able to meet her savior, but he was away in London for the week. When she'd inquire when he'd be back in Edinburgh, his father had said not for a month.  
  
From London, he was flying straight to New York City for experimental gene therapy treatment for three weeks. After that, he'd most likely be back in Edinburgh. The keywords were most likely. If the treatment in New York didn't go well, who knew where he'd be? While the Potters were by no means excessively wealthy, they in the upper crust of society and could afford anything that might save their only son.  
  
It could well be months before Harry was back in Scotland. She didn't want to wait that long to meet her hero, but what choice did she have? Her family was decidedly middle class, and they simply didn't have the money to hop on a plane to who knows where at who knows when? She sighed. She'd have to wait until he came back.  
  
Her head snapped when her phone rang. No one called her on her hospital phone unless it was her parents, and her parents were somewhere in the hospital scavenging for edible food that was decently cooked. So it couldn't be them. The few friends that she had knew to call her on her mobile. She reached for the phone and answered, "Hello?"  
  
"Ms. Granger? It's Mrs. Potter, Harry's mum," greeted Lily warmly. "You called my husband a few minutes ago?"  
  
"Yes," Hermione responded, "I did. I just," she began in a rush, "wanted to meet your son sometime, but Mr. Potter said that Harry wouldn't be back in Edinburgh for a month since he's in London and will be going to New York. I wanted to thank him, he's been my guardian angel." She paused, her throat suddenly dry. "And well, I know how short time is right now. I don't want it to be too late."  
  
Lily smiled softly and sadly. "I realize that," she murmured. "I know, I was listening on the other line to the conversation with my husband. I--- I am sure Harry would be delighted to meet you. It would make him very happy to see for himself that your transplant went wonderfully."  
  
"I'd like him to see too what he's done for me," Hermione murmured gently. "It's a miracle."  
  
"Yes," Lily agreed. "He's a miraculous young man, my son is. My husband and I discussed your situation after you hung up, and we would like for you to meet our son. I think it might boost his flagging spirits, to see you. As long as Dr. Pomfrey permits it and your parents don't mind, there's a plane ticket with your name on it to join Harry and us in New York City, Hermione."  
  
She was stunned speechless. This was more than she had ever expected. She had heard about the Potter's benevolence, but this was incredible. No wonder their son was so kind, his parents were equally so. Children did tend to take after their parents. "I don't know what to say," she breathed out. "I--- I'd love to go."  
  
"That's fabulous," Lily responded. "I'm sure we can arrange the circumstances with your parents and with Dr. Pomfrey. You just rest easy and build your strength, all right sweetheart?"  
  
"I will," Hermione promised. "I will, Mrs. Potter."  
  
"I'm going to discuss things with Dr. Pomfrey," Lily continued on, "and set up a meeting with your parents. We'll be glad to take you to New York with us, and I'm sure Harry will be overjoyed to meet you in London. You'll be his surprise. I'll talk to you later, Hermione. Good bye."  
  
"Bye," Hermione whispered, but the phone line was already dead on the other end. She stared at the receiver, more than astonished--- simply shocked. This was an unbelievable opportunity. She had never traveled anywhere. Now, she was going to meet her knight in shining armor and she was going to be able to travel. Harry had been right, miracles did come.  
  
They had already arrived for her. She turned her head and gazed out at the magnificent window view she had. Her room was private, and it cost a fortune but her parents had wanted her last few months to be enjoyable and peaceful. It seemed a waste now, but who knew she was going to live normally a week ago? No one, but now she was. It was all thanks to a wonderful young man named Harry Potter.  
  
And she was going to meet him. She hoped she did make him happy when he saw her, it was a small thing to do for the gift he'd given her. She smiled beautifully and began to pray that a miracle was coming for him too. There was no one else that deserved it more.  
  
~  
  
He hadn't seen his father like this in a long, long time. He forgot how long it'd been, but it'd definitely been a long time ago. Lucius Malfoy was never taken down the level where his emotions led to such fierce cursing. It simply wasn't the Malfoy way. But his father was cussing now, quite fluently. Oh to be sure, Lucius flung out the occasional swear word, but only to accentuate a conversation never as passionate exclamation.  
  
His father also was never curt in his retorts. But he was getting cut off and outmaneuvered here. Whoever was on the other side of the line intrigued Draco greatly. He wanted to meet the man; it wasn't any man that could get this kind of leverage with Lucius. He wanted to learn how. He was sure his father wouldn't like it, but he was no doubt that Lucius would be proud of him if he succeeded.  
  
"No, damn it---" Lucius snapped his mouth close into an irritated line of aggravation. "I cannot." His lips were once again pressed shut. "You know, he won't---" This time Lucius kept his mouth open, but nothing came out for a long while. Finally his mouth started to work and he muttered, "I understand."  
  
Draco knew better than to question his father immediately or have more than a bland expression on his face. The fierce guardian woman of Harry's didn't though. She was basically crowing her triumph that someone was getting to the over arrogant Malfoy. At least, Draco reflected, she was wise enough not to say anything.  
  
When he was relatively certain his father had worked off the worse of his temper, after all his father had paced around the room for about a quarter of hour, he asked his question with mild curiosity, "Who was that, father?"  
  
Lucius was not over his dark mood. His silvery eyes bore a hole into the mirror eyes of son. "That was Voldemort," he snapped.  
  
Draco blinked, he knew who Voldemort was. Voldemort was a gifted producer and had ascended to the top position on the label that Severus Snape was signed on to a few years prior. The man was gutsy and extremely ambitious, which coupled with his knack for choosing young talent managed to ascend to the pinnacle in a remarkable short time period.  
  
"What did he want?" he inquired smoothly, not wanting to arouse any more of his father's formidable anger.  
  
"He wants Severus to perform at an award show," Lucius retorted, his eyes not flashing nearly as dangerous, "this weekend."  
  
"Shit," Draco cursed and Lucius shared the grim smile that appeared on his son's face. The two platinum blondes stared at each other stonily, they understood exactly what was wrong even if the whey faced McGonagall was looking utterly confused. Severus hated public appearances, and with the latest public relations scheme of Lucius'--- it was going to be hell on earth for them. "Gods, this is a bloody nightmare."  
  
"You can say that again," Lucius bite out harshly. "Severus is going to be a bitch about this."  
  
Draco nodded solemnly, while the middle aged woman in the background stared at them with her beady eyes in pure perplexity. Didn't rock stars want to perform in award shows? "That's a sodding understatement, father," he drawled. "I suspect you're going to have to find another up and comer since Severus can't murder you, he'll have to fire you."  
  
"He won't fire me."  
  
Draco shrugged. His father was probably right. Severus was far too use to Lucius' methods, and it did give Severus relatively free rein to do whatever he wanted. "True, but what in god's name are you going to do?"  
  
"I have a plan," Lucius said confidently, his expression reverting back to its normal silky composure. His mouth twisted in a smile that was pure manipulative plotting. "Don't I always?"  
  
The younger version of himself rolled his eyes playfully. "Do tell, father."  
  
Lucius smirked. "I have a few phone calls to make first."  
  
His father was positively devious, Draco thought with more than hint of pride at his paternity. Thank goodness he was Lucius' son. He may have gotten the larger portion of his beauty from his mother, but he was delighted that people said his personality was like his father's. Granted, it wasn't quite that Machiavellian yet. He was young. He had years to get to where his father was. Years.  
  
With his father now busying himself in his own private study, Draco shifted his eyes to rest on the overprotective old biddy that Harry had brought with him. What to do with her? Too bad he couldn't get rid of her, she was going to cramp their bachelor pad. Even if she wasn't that feminine. He sighed. Severus was with Harry, his father was occupied, might as well play the role of charming host.  
  
"Why don't I give you a tour, Ms. McGonagall?"  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Author's Note: Hopefully this chapter met up with your HP/SS expectations and makes you salivate for more. And the much anticipated entrance of Voldemort! The next couple of chapters have now been given a focus, should be interesting. Any thoughts on what you want to happen next? Feel free to throw ideas around. And thanks for all your support! I'll try to keep it weekly. Um I started a new AU non-magic fanfic called. To the Point of Exhaustion?  
  
Thanks to Cheddar1, Mary Reid, the-ladyship-writers, kathy stggvk, ntamara, TommieBoy182, Cass-Andra, Alicorn1, Rani-Panthera, holidayinspain, BlackRose1356, Gray Roses, Fabi, VtE, Irihi Safaia, Coward in the Shadows, Delfeus, Dragonsoul, Ptijade, Anoymous, White Rider, darkfireunicorn, fys, Little Elflet, Baby Sphinx, Sylvester, Carol, Prophetess of Hearts, Illucia, Heather, Luntari Draconis, UltraHighDragonFly, Veritas4Eternity, Magami, slytherinsela, DraconisSenshi, Melanie, athenakitty, Ms. Padfoot, mySakurazukamori, Kateri1, Suburb Angel, Hippy Flower=Voldie's Kid, anisdeltoro16.  
  
Tempest8: Glad you like the lyrics, I like them too. I added a 'Mione scene, hopefully it meets your approval.  
  
oldone: I don't know, but I do know cancer victims can still have sex and have children. Besides, Harry's a teen. It will affect him, but while he's a bit weak and fragile, he's not on the verge of dying.  
  
Rebecca Cecilie: Perseverance rocks! Norway's awesome, always wanted to go there. Compulsions are nice, ;p.  
  
Setsuri: Yup, 'Mione's very important to the plot symbol-wise and probably as a person too, we'll have to wait and see. I understand Draco more than Harry in music, since I'm like Draco (I have the ability, I just hate playing). I write Harry's music passion from my writing passion.  
  
jane: It's not that Harry doesn't feel sorry about himself, he was and -is- still capable of being bitter, but he's lived with it for 5 years and it's changed him.  
  
Malakai: You've seen the direction I've turned, and what say you?  
  
Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU: I've read and left massive reviews! Glad you're enjoying my story.  
  
Quickjewel: You got all the descriptions of Sev down! I grinned like a loon when I read it! Hey I kept you out of bed! -cheers animatedly- 


	5. Mischief Managed

Title: **Wishes Are For Dreamers**

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: _Quickjewel_ (absolutely bloody fantastic!)

5: Mischief Managed (August 8, 2003 to August 11, 2003)

Lucius was right.  Severus was pissed.  Pissed off.  Draco had never seen Severus quite so pale with rage, and he had seen Severus throw frustrated rage around a lot in his early teens.  It had tempered down in his later teens when Severus had gotten more use to the astounding popularity of his music.  He felt compelled to explain his godfather's excessive anger, but he didn't see any alarm in Harry's expression only a twinge of amusement.  

"You should be honored," Harry remarked softly.  "It's not any award show you know.  It's the premiere music award show in Great Britain.  You ought to be  honored that they want you to be the closing act."  

Severus scowled, and Lucius grinned.  "He's right you know, Severus my friend.  You ought to be honored to get this privilege.  It's not something that only comes around often either.  Many popular musicians and singers never get this chance.  You can't refuse it, not when Voldemort has asked."  

"You know I hate publicity stunts and this is just another one of them," Severus sneered.  "I've already finished my promotions for my last album, there's no reason for me to do this.  I should be working on my new album, not…" his voice trailed off as he tried to find the right demeaning word, "wasting my time with an insignificant award show that means nothing."  

"You're not being given a choice," Lucius continued onward.  "Voldemort has specifically asked for you to perform as the closing act.  You can't refuse him, especially since he has you on contract for your next two albums.  You don't want to piss him off, by doing him this favor you'll have even more free rein over your material."

"I already have all the control I need over my material," Severus hissed back.  "I've been the co-producer on my last two albums.  This is just another way for Voldemort to sell more of my albums.  Another fucking publicity stunt."

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" Lucius countered lightly.  "The more albums that you sell, the more albums that you'll get to make.  If you aren't a success, then who will want to sign a contract with you to back you with money?  Money talks, Severus.  I thought you knew that."  

Severus glared at Lucius, but finally nodded.  He knew that, but that still didn't mean he didn't have the right to be royally pissed at his best friend for getting him into a situation that was something that'd make him uncomfortable.  Wasn't Lucius reputed to be one of the best agents in the business with getting what his artists wanted?  Unfortunately, Voldemort was notorious in the business for getting what he wanted.  

It was a pity when the two alpha males had clashed that Lucius hadn't been the one to emerge on top.  "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?" Severus responded dryly, though there was no wry humor glistening in his black as midnight eyes.  

Shaking his head regretfully, Lucius turned his head to where Harry was standing silently next to his son.  "The show is this weekend, how would you like to go as Severus' guest?"  

He blinked and blinked again.  Was Mr. Malfoy seriously asking him to attend the biggest music award show in Great Britain?  "Would I like to go?" Harry breathed out, his eyes wide with his excitement.  "Of course, I'd like to go!  I'd love to go!"  

Both Malfoys grinned at Harry's exuberance, even Minerva couldn't help but smile at the radiant joy appearing on Harry's face.  Severus rolled his eyes, but it was only for effect.  Had he ever been as carefree and happy as this young man?  No, he didn't think so.  While he couldn't find it in himself to be outwardly approving of such elation, but inwardly he was almost envious.  Why did it elude him?

Noticing the half scowl worn on Severus' face, Lucius thought it might be wise to ask if it was all right with his temperamental artist.  It had never proved very wise to get Severus too riled up.  "Are you okay with this?" Lucius inquired courteously.  "With Harry attending the award show with you?"

Severus knew what Lucius was up to.  It'd be all too convenient for Lucius if Harry went to the award show as Severus' guest.  He wouldn't have to set up any sort of public relations meeting to showcase the publicity stunt.  The goodness of Lucius' heart only went so far without having something in it for the manipulative elder Malfoy.  "Yeah," he grumbled moodily.  "I'm fine with it."  

"Very good," Lucius remarked, his silvery eyes shifting to his son who was barely holding back the grin that was threatening to break across his face.  "Of course, Harry will need to be prepared for this.  It's not everyday that someone is put on TV in front of thousands of people, are they?"  

"No," Draco drawled for Harry, "it's not everyday you're placed under the scrutiny of the public eye.  That means you'll need," he surveyed the dark young man from head to toe, "a completely new look.  I'm the person to help too.  You can't go to an award show looking like that, while you look nice--- you need to look drop dead gorgeous.  I'm the perfect one for the job."  He grinned and held out his hand to his father.  "Credit card, father?"

~

"Don't look like that," Draco teased, slipping the credit card that Lucius had handed him into his back pocket.  "You should have a smile on your face, you get to spend a good deal of Severus' money.  It's not like he can't afford it.  He's got a ton of money.  I'm always spending it as part of his petty expenses.  Consider it his deserved punishment for earlier today."

"He doesn't have to pay for me," Harry murmured softly, taking out a platinum card.  "I can afford a shopping spree on my own.  My parents gave me their credit card to cover any expenses that I might incur."  

Taking Harry's card and shoving it back into Harry's pocket, Draco deliberately shook his head slowly.  "You're the guest," Draco said firmly.  "Severus will pay for whatever I decide is deemed worthy of your new look.  Now sit back and relax and let the master work his magic, all right?  You do want to impress Severus don't you?"

Draco knew that Harry did.  He had seen the looks that Severus and Harry had snuck at each other for the past hour or so that Severus' and Lucius' discussion meeting had taken place.  Neither of them had been looking while the other had been staring, which in Draco's opinion was unfortunate.  It would have been amusing to see their epiphany when they realized they were both interested in each other.

While he might not be attracted to his own sex, he didn't have anything against those that did.  Hell, his father was one of them even if he had married and loved his mother.  Then again, Malfoys tended to be more open minded about many things.  They also tended to be arrogantly superior to everyone as well.  Draco smirked.  It was going to be fun to remake Harry into a heartthrob.  He couldn't wait to see Severus' reaction.  That'd be sweet indeed.  

"Turn left," Draco directed the cab driver, "we want to go into the shopping district.  Do you know where all the posh shops are?"  The driver nodded his head.  "Take us there then."  

It wasn't long before the cab pulled up in front of the prestigious shopping boulevard famed for its outrageous prices and its sleek trendiness.  Style was style here.  There was no place like this in all of London.  Draco smiled when he noticed the way Harry's eyes darted around, such an innocent thing.  It was time to turn the naïve young man into a sophisticated dresser enough to knock Severus' socks off.  

"Stop staring," Draco muttered with seeming impatience, but humor was sparkling in his silver eyes, "like a baby looking at candy and come with me.  It's time for you to get an entirely new look courtesy of my exquisite Malfoy tastes."  He grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him with him to the first shop, Marc Jacobs.

When Harry tried to pick out rather conservative outfits that were bland but tasteful, Draco shook his head and forced Harry to sit down and let him choose for him.  "You have an eye for quality," he admitted, "but you're too rigid with your choices.  You need to loosen up, Harry."  Harry only looked at him with a blank expression on his face and Draco sighed dramatically.  "Let me do the choosing, all right?"  

Harry shrugged.  It wasn't his money.  He didn't see what was wrong with the clothes that he had chosen though.  Sure, they weren't eye catching or trendy but they were comfortable and casual.  What was wrong with that?  Then again, Draco did have a flair about him with his clothes.  It definitely made people notice him.  No wonder Draco was mildly criticizing him.  Compared to Draco, he was rather dull.

"All right," he agreed.  "Choose away."

The grin that came onto Draco's face was breathtaking, Harry felt himself once again admiring the young blond.  It was too bad that Draco was undoubtedly straight, he thought to himself.  He had noticed Draco's eyes studiously checking out every worthwhile female in the vicinity with discretion.  "Great," Draco remarked.  "You won't be disappointed."  

He didn't have any concerns about that.  Getting a look wouldn't be so bad, he reflected, his mum was always trying to get him to wear some more stylish clothes.  But he unfortunately got his sense of fashion from his father, sensible and more sensible.  That was the Potter trademark.  Even his mum's Evans fashion style couldn't override that.  

"Come here," Draco called to him from where he had been sitting and pondering on one of the leather chairs.  "Try this on," he told Harry, tossing him an array of clothing that had Harry's eyes popping open.  Leather pants, brilliantly striped shirts, faded worn jeans, suede jackets, black laced boots, bright silk shirts.  "Go on, try them on."  

Harry's eyes were still goggled out.  Where was he suppose to start underneath the pile of clothes that Draco had dumped on him?  It seemed Draco correctly identified that his hesitation came from not knowing where to begin not from his distaste.  The clothes Draco had chosen were rather stylish, but he didn't know if they'd look good on him like they did on Draco.  "Here," Draco remarked, holding out a pair of pants and a shirt, "try this on."  

Harry took the pants and shirt from Draco and was led into the dressing room by a well groomed older man who had taken one look at Draco and had started helping the elegantly dressed man all he could.  The other young gentleman didn't make that much of an impression on him, but he wasn't about to complain on who was going to wear the clothes as long as someone was buying them and he got a good commission.  

Putting on these clothes made Harry feel weird, the silky feel of the shirt was surprisingly sensual.  The leather pants were deliciously tight, molding his long legs in a way his khakis never did.  He gulped when he looked into the long free standing mirror that was the center piece of the dressing room.  His mum would have been delighted, he considered with a half smile.  He'd have to wear something like this when he met her at Heathrow when he flew to New York.  

She'd always wanted him to wear something like this.  Something that made him stand out more than the bland clothes that he insisted in wearing because they were comfortable.  These weren't uncomfortable, just different.  Now he knew where Severus' good taste in clothes came from.  If the Malfoys dressed him, no wonder he looked like understated sex all the damn time.  

Draco had made him look almost sexy.  "Are you going to come out?" Draco inquired with humor reflected in his tone.  "Or am I going to have to drag you away from the bloody mirror, Harry?"

He flushed.  How had Draco known he'd been staring at himself in the mirror in amazement?  He took a deep breath and stepped out of the dressing room.  His hands were nervously playing with the edge of his shirt; he thought he looked good, but Draco's opinion mattered.  After all, it was Draco that had chosen the clothing that made him look so good.  

"It's too bad that I'm straight," Draco drawled.  "You almost make me want to change my orientation."  

That good?  Harry snuck a peek at Draco's face to discern whether he was joking or being honest.  While Draco's expression wasn't particularly easy to read, he could tell from the relaxed lines that Draco wasn't teasing him.  He was utterly sincere.  Amazing.  "I look good?" he asked with uncertainty.  

Draco smirked.  "You look bloody marvelous, Harry.  I can't wait to show you to Severus."

~

"You know we're going to have to meet up with him eventually," Lucius admonished lightly.  "We might as well do it while Draco is out taking Harry on his little shopping spree."  

"I don't see why we have to make it convenient for Voldemort," Severus snarled, "when he's making it so inconvenient for me."  

Lucius shrugged in appeasement.  "You know Voldemort's a hard man to work for.  He likes things his way, and he can do that when he's the one that's paying you millions of dollars Severus.  Money talks, and Voldemort holds the purse strings.  You'll do as he asks, and he is making this worth your while."  

"Who cares about the money?" Severus sneered.  "I have enough of it as it is.  I don't really need anymore."

His best friend chuckled lightly.  "That's not what you use to say fifteen years ago when you were a struggling young musician trying to make it," Lucius remarked pointedly.  "You use to tell me you'd do anything if you just could get enough money to get by.  We all would have.  It's amazing the distance that we've come in fifteen years."  

Severus grumbled, but Lucius was right.  Why did Lucius always have to be so bloody correct all the damn time?  "Let's get this over with," he muttered.  "Might as well."  

"Good," Lucius responded, smiling charmingly at the receptionist.  "We have a 3:30 appointment with Voldemort."  The receptionist nodded and rang up to the head office with word that Voldemort's visitors had arrived.  

"You may go up now.  It's the elevators to your left, and he's in the penthouse waiting for you," the receptionist told them in a pleasant tone.  

Lucius thanked her and guided Severus to the elevators at the back of the office building that would take them directly up to the penthouse.  This headquarters was a bit different in that there was a penthouse on top of the office buildings.  Voldemort had added the penthouse so that he wouldn't need to leave his place of work to actually have somewhere comfortable to sleep.

He personally thought Voldemort was a bit obsessive, but it did make the man a brilliant sodding success story.  It was no wonder no one could hope to compete with the man.  Who could beat a man that never left the office?  Lucius shook his head and steeled himself to meet the only man that had ever out maneuvered him with his specialty, the language of words.  

"Voldemort," he greeted, inclining his head, "it's good to see you again."

A tingle went down Severus' spine when he saw Voldemort's brilliant green eyes travel from Lucius to him.  No wonder Harry's eyes had fascinated him, they were the same shade as Voldemort's.  But Voldemort's were cold and calculating while Harry's were warm and gentle.  An interesting and very crucial difference.  Yet he could see that Harry could very well end up looking like Voldemort when he hit his middle years.  Their coloring and their features were eerily alike.  

"I'm glad that you two came," Voldemort replied with a cool voice.  "We have much to discuss about the upcoming closing act of yours, Severus.  The first problem is your lack of new material.  We could always do one of your older songs, but I've always understood that you never stop writing music.  I'm sure you could pull up a song that you have in the works?  It'd be a nice way to advertise it without costing us any money."  

Money.  It was always about money, Severus thought with extreme disillusionment.  Life was about money, but especially the entertainment world.  Money was king, and money spoke volumes.  He still didn't know how he'd made it in this cutthroat business.  Sure he knew how to survive, he'd barely avoided the streets in the worse days.  But this business was harsh, cruel, and malicious.  It'd been to his fortune that he had landed an agent that had his best interests at heart and was wily enough to use all the tricks of the entertainment world against them.  

No wonder why Lucius Malfoy had become his best friend.  They'd been together for more than fifteen years as partners in business.  They had been friends even before that, but it was really only after Narcissa's death and when Severus had been disinherited by his family that they had struck out and decided to go for the impossible.  It was the start of a rollercoaster ride that had taken them around the world.  Draco Malfoy was a product of it all--- all their traveling and their success.   

"I have a few songs that I've been writing," Severus admitted reluctantly, "but they're no where near done.  It'd be nearly impossible to finalize any of them.  Most of them are only half written.  I'd need a muse for an inspiration."  

"Then we will have to work on that, won't we?" Voldemort stated more than queried, dryly.  

Severus narrowed his eyes a tad before remembering what Lucius had said before, that Voldemort controlled the money and the company--- therefore, he controlled him.  "It won't be easy."

"Nothing's ever easy," Voldemort snapped.  "I don't care what you have to do, but you will finish a new song before the awards show and perform that new song as the first single in your upcoming album.  Do you understand me, Severus?"

Oh, he understood very well.  His hand was being forced.  He hated when that happened.  That was what his family had been trying to do for years.  Forcing his hand, it was no wonder he'd rebelled against them.  Family responsibilty be damned!  He felt Lucius' warning hand on his thigh, telling him not to act foolishly.  He could rail at him all he wanted but when they were alone and not in front of their boss.  

"He understands," Lucius answered for Severus smoothly.  "We both understand.  It'll be done.  That I promise you, Voldemort."

"Good," Voldemort responded with the barest glimpse of a smile.  "I'll see you then.  I trust you know your way out?"

"We do."

~

**Author's Note:** No lyrics in this one and I really do need some ideas thrown around to help me write this.  As you can see I'm not ahead and well I have no idea what I'm going to do next.  I have a basic setup but blegh.  I don't know what to do.  Anyhow, any ideas or feedback would be much appreciated.  Hope every chapter is getting better and better.  Yeah, I'm not writing 'cuz I'm @ Rice.  So only reviewing will get me pumped ;p.  

Thanks to Alicorn1, kagyakusha, oracale, Redrum, ntamara, Shinigami061, slytherinsela, Suburb Angel, Jes Imagin, rayvern, someonesgurl, TommieBoy182, WittchWay, Queen Vegetasei, athenakitty, VenomZ, Robin R. Smith (sorry to hear that! Glad you can relate!), Fallen Dragon, Faby, DraconisSenshi, Malakai (so how was Voldie?), Agnei Smith, selua, Wolf Lupin, Tempest8, Magami, Irihi Safaia, Erica, Jewelclaw Lady of Wind, tati1, Corgi1, wintermoon2, Quickjewel (haha and now you're my beta!), Ms. Padfoot.  

Anisdeltoro16: I don't think ppl. Realize how hard it is to write the lyrics.  I spend a good time on them and they do have a very specific meaning to them and they do relate to the story.  

Eaiva le Fay: I always do Draco well, which is why Draco's got his own story now!  To the Point of Exhaustion! 

Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU: I'm using my passion for writing to write music passion.  I've played the violin but I never really liked it.  So is Voldemort believable?

Jane: Introspection is my thing if you haven't noticed.  Actually MOP (if you read that) is really narrative-based for me.  Most of my stuff tends to be more mental than physical.  

Setsuri: You ideas are fuel for my thoughts, but I won't tell you want I'm doing yet.  Keep brainstorming, it helps me!


	6. Composing Music

Title: Wishes Are For Dreamers  
  
Author: Yih  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  
  
Beta: Quickjewel  
  
~  
  
6: Composing Music (August 18, 2003 to August 21, 2003)  
  
"Tainted" by Yih  
  
I see perfection before me  
I hesitate to approach it  
My touch is tainted  
You say it doesn't matter  
  
Don't you see?  
Don't you know?  
Don't you recognize?  
  
I am nothing  
  
You are everything  
  
There is no hesitation in you  
Your steps don't slow  
You make the first move  
You approach me  
  
I push you away  
I try to show you  
I am not good enough  
I am not for you  
  
You refuse to give up  
You persist onward  
I glimpse into a vision  
The perfection of you  
  
Don't you see?  
Don't you know?  
Don't you recognize?  
I am nothing  
You are everything  
  
He despised love songs. They held no meaning for him, yet strangely this song spoke to him. It was the song that was the most near to being complete, which was why he had attempted to finish it. Finish it he did to his utter amazement. The song had been written painstakingly. Every word, every note had taken hours to find the right inspiration.  
  
It was only half complete and that had taken 6 months. He finished the rest in a few hours. It wasn't one of the fastest songs he had written, but it was definitely a mad crazy muse moment. The rush was incredible. It was like an overpowering wave that kept cresting over and over again. No drug, nothing came near the feeling of pure creativity.  
  
He bent his head down over the keyboard as he concentrated on playing the last few notes. The ending was soft but beautiful. Aching. Longing for what he knew he couldn't have but that he wanted anyway. On the last note, he allowed himself to smile. It was a beautiful song, even if it was a love song. It held as much meaning as he could possibly put into a song such as this.  
  
It was when he removed his fingers from the keys, he heard a pair of hands clapping. His eyes shot across the room to where his desire was standing looking even more delectable to the eyes. Good lord what had Draco done? He'd turned the innocent Harry into a sophisticated young man. Seeing Harry like this made it that much harder for him to convince himself that Harry was too young.  
  
He didn't look too young, not that Harry would be interested in an old man like himself. He knew the type that Harry would like. The sweet and kind girl around his age that would cling to his arm. Disgusting. That was why Severus' preferences never ran in that direction. Some females were decent, but most others were intolerable.  
  
The moment, however, when those brilliant emerald eyes met his own dark ones Severus knew he was in deep trouble. Not only was he trapped by those mesmerizing orbs, he was captivated by the glimpse into the soul of the young man he'd gotten when Harry had played his composition. There was something very personal about performing for someone. For Harry, Severus knew it'd been very personal.  
  
He couldn't help but examine the gorgeous man in front of him. It was his undoing. The longer he looked, the more he couldn't look away. No wonder the song had come so easily to him. His subconscious had been whispering to him his secret yearning. It was for this beautiful boy that he had no right to be looking this way at. For all he knew, Harry was decidedly straight.  
  
The fact that Harry wasn't looking away was reassuring him. A thrill ran down his spine when he saw the telling blush on Harry's face. The blush had to have a reason behind it. Was it possible that Harry was turning red because of the way he was staring blatantly at him? Very possible. And if he wanted to be positive and admit it to himself, Harry was looking at him in a manner quite similar to the way he'd been staring.  
  
"That was beautiful," Harry murmured throatily. "Is that the song you're going to perform at the award show?"  
  
Severus nodded slowly. He was overcome by the epiphany that the song he'd written had not been written about Harry, but had become about Harry. It was just one of those things that had happened out of the blue. It kind of made sense as to why it had always been so difficult to finish the song. He just hadn't had the right kind of inspiration.  
  
But would Harry approach him? "I've never heard a song like that from you," Harry commented softly. "But it's a lovely composition. It's different, but the music is achingly poignant. It's very much you."  
  
The part of him that was sarcastic and unwilling to believe in anything that was worthwhile sneered at the compliment. However, the believer in him still wanted to think that it was possible that such a young innocent thing like Harry might possibly see something in him. What a vain hope, but he still had it. If he didn't have this positive side in him, it would have been impossible to continue through life.  
  
"Thank you," Severus murmured. "You look good."  
  
"He looks better than good," Draco drawled as he entered into the room behind Harry. "He simply looks delectable. He turned out to be more gorgeous than even I suspected. If I leant in that persuasion, I'd be falling head over heels. Even as it is, I'm tempted."  
  
Harry blushed hotly, not knowing why Draco was being so obvious about his sexual preference. He had no doubt in his mind that Draco had seen the way he'd been shyly glancing at him throughout the shopping spree. He knew that Draco wasn't homosexual, but that didn't have to stop him from appreciating his beautiful form, did it? No.  
  
Of course, the way he'd been fixated in staring at Severus wasn't helping either. Draco might make him drool, but Severus definitely made him salivate. There was something about Severus that Harry couldn't quite place his finger on. It wasn't that Severus was gorgeous; he didn't quite have Draco's natural good looks. But there was something very distinctive about the older man. Stern and commanding--- it radiated.  
  
Damn Draco. It was clear to anyone who had eyes that Harry was more than delicious to the eyes, but why did Draco have to make it so obvious that he would be interested? From the way that Harry was blushing, Severus could tell that the hints were affecting Harry. He now had no doubt in which way Harry leaned, but that still didn't mean he would do anything. For god sakes, Harry was young enough to be his son!  
  
It wasn't right for him to even be thinking of Harry in that way. Not right at all! But he couldn't help it, not when Harry looked like that. Malfoys and their manipulative skills were simply unbeatable. Still he couldn't give in to the temptation. He had the resolve to ignore his desires. "If you will excuse me," Severus remarked coolly, "I need to continue practicing the piece if I'm to play it in two day's time."  
  
Draco nodded with a telling smile spreading over his lips. What was Draco up to? Severus was mildly alarmed, and his suspicions were instantly confirmed when Draco opened his mouth. "I'm sure if you're just practicing, then I'm sure you wouldn't mind having Harry stay and watch you. Would you? After all, this is his week with you."  
  
"He can stay," Severus grumbled out grudgingly. "But you've got to leave. I can only concentrate so much with so many people in the room."  
  
Draco grinned and winked conspiratorially at Harry. "No problem, I've got to do something for father anyway. Have fun Harry."  
  
Awkward was how Harry would describe the room immediately after Draco had departed. It was like they were being forced together, and Harry didn't really know why. He kept getting the feeling that Draco was hinting that Severus would like him in that way but that seemed impossible. Was it a possibility that his idol leaned in the same direction as he did?  
  
No one was breaking the infiltrating silence with words. Instead, Severus bent his head down again with intense concentration on his face and started playing the beginning notes of his new song. The lullaby was not soothing and not as deeply driven as most of his other songs, but it had this convincing beat to it. It wasn't hard to get wrapped up into the song. And when Severus began to sing, it was all over.  
  
His music was brilliant, but his voice was perfection in Harry's mind. If there was a perfect voice in the universe, it was Severus'. It didn't matter if Severus was talking or singing, Harry wouldn't turn away from that deep but not too deep masculine voice. It captivated and entrapped him just as it was doing now. With the music, the voice, and the lyrics it was no wonder that he was drawn so intensely to Severus Snape. What more could anyone want?  
  
There was nothing more he'd rather do than to sit here and listen to Severus sing. This was what he wanted more than anything else in the world other than to get to know Severus personally. He thought he'd kind of gotten there earlier until Lucius had interrupted them. Would it continue or would they have to start all over again? How hard would breaking the silence be?  
  
It was when Severus' fingers lightly touched the last keys of the song that Harry decided that this would be the best chance for him to approach Severus. Carefully and cautiously he moved close to where Severus was sitting and with a daring he didn't know he had, he started playing the beginning of the song. Somewhere along the way he found himself not really looking at Severus' notations and instead manipulating them to make a more distressing song than it had been.  
  
The song just spoke of desperation to him. A feeling of a hopelessness that there seemed to be no answer to. His notes tended to take a sharper edge to it than the music had originally encompassed and while he still used most of the notes that Severus had scribbled on the sheet music--- there was a good bit that he changed. Before Harry knew it, he was ending the song.  
  
Dread filled him. Impossible dread. What had he been thinking when he had dared to change what the brilliant Severus Snape had written? Was he crazy? Was he mad? He lifted his eyes up to meet Severus' dark eyes, hoping beyond hope that Severus wouldn't be offended by his boldness. "I'm sorry," he whispered meekly. "I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to."  
  
Harry was sorry for his talent. That was something Severus had never seen before that he could remember. Maybe there had been one time, but having no humility was a rare characteristic in the lifestyle that he had. It was a sweet relief. A cleansing difference. And with that modesty there was genuine talent. Harry had actually made the song more dramatic, more aching.  
  
"You had nothing to be sorry about," Severus remarked throatily, his lips speaking the words into Harry's ear with delicate precision. To be this close to the young man was pure torture and it only confirmed his worse suspicions. He was lusting for a boy at least twenty years his junior, and it wasn't only physical attraction. If it was just that, he could fight against it. It was mental as well. The boy had wit and talent. Harry was going to be the death of him.  
  
"You don't," he assured once more since Harry still had that look that said he didn't believe him. "There are not many people that have genuine talent like you do. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide it. Besides," he rested his hand on Harry's shoulder, "you made the song better, and any true musician wants the music to be better not worse."  
  
Harry blushed hotly, a feeling of intense warmth spreading throughout his body. "Thank you," he said softly, not really knowing how to react to a compliment from his musical inspiration. "But I really had no right to change your music. And it's not that my alterations are any better than yours, it's just that they're different. Musical tastes are different and varied, which is why music is so diversified."  
  
He was making excuses. It was utterly adorable. "Your changes were better," Severus stated firmly. "The music I composed was only really a rough draft. You've definitely given me something to think about while I brush up the song for the award show." A disarming smile graced Harry's face as he couldn't do anything but return the genuine grin on Severus' lips. "I'd really like it if you played it again." Part of himself really couldn't believe that he was saying this to Harry, then again it wasn't often that he met someone like Harry. Someone that he was attracted to that had more than the physical attributes to make them desirable to him. "Play," he urged, trying to keep the commanding nuance out of his tone, "please."  
  
For a moment Harry hesitated before finally deciding to sit down on the bench next to Severus. At first it was hard for him to do it, but then he remembered that his time on Earth was limited and that he should live it to the fullest. Who cared if he made a fool of himself? There was only so much time left and if Severus wanted him to play for him, he'd play.  
  
This time he put more of his emotions behind the music that he was playing, more of himself behind it. It wasn't hard for him to play this song. As he played it, he instinctively heard the lyrics going over and over again in his head in Severus' throaty voice. He didn't know who Severus was writing the song for, but to him it spoke to him of Severus. No wonder it was easy to make it more desperate, more emotionally driven.  
  
The way Harry was playing the music, there was a passion that made it impossible for Severus to look away. There was a fire in Harry's sparkling green eyes that burned into his soul. How rare it was to find someone like this, who could play music like this---- who was physically what he was looking for. Lucius no doubt had something to do with this. Lucius was always trying to set him up with someone.  
  
But this couldn't happen. Harry was too young, and it would be disastrous for his career if it ever got out that he was a homosexual. His fans might be accepting of his bisexual rumors, but that wasn't quite as limiting as confirmation of his crookedness. Why would Lucius risk his career like that? He didn't really care as long as he got to write music, but Lucius would.  
  
Then again Lucius was his best friend, the only true friend he could count on nowadays with his fucking fame. A Malfoy was a Malfoy was a Malfoy, but Lucius did care about him--- a lot. When Narcissa had died, Lucius had clung to him. They had even renewed the romance they had had before Lucius had fallen for Narcissa. It'd lasted a year or so before they decided they were definitely better as friends. Severus knew Lucius would want him to be happy, but with a man two decades his junior?  
  
"How long have you been playing?" Severus queried offhandedly when he noticed that Harry was no longer playing. "The piano? Do you play any other instruments?"  
  
Severus wasn't the only one that noticed how close Harry was to him when Harry turned his head to face him to answer him. Harry was very aware of how close Severus was, the sex symbol that he dreamed of to get off--- and even more important, his life's inspiration. "I've played," Harry answered softly, "the piano since I was 3, and I also play the violin and the viola. I enjoy the piano more because it's easier to compose, but there's something equally special about the violin to me. It's just sometimes more intense."  
  
Only another musician could understand what Harry was talking about, but Severus did. Listening to Harry talk about music was making it hard to keep his slight erection down. The problem was that while Harry's voice wasn't very deep, it had a medium but masculine pitch to it that was incredible to hear. "You've been playing for a long time," Severus commented thoughtfully. "I'd like to hear you play the violin sometime. It can be very intense, but I've always been more passionate on the piano."  
  
"What other instruments do you play?" Harry queried in a low voice, his eyes slanted downward in a shy position. "I take it you play the violin as well?"  
  
Severus nodded. "I did. I play the guitar some, but I really only enjoy playing the piano. Unlike most musicians, I don't really like playing on other instruments. Other say I'm limited and that I should explore more into others, but I like the piano best. I always have."  
  
Too close, Harry thought, his heart racing as he calculated that he was close enough to steal a kiss from the sexiest rock star alive. Did he dare? He risked offending Severus, but then again he'd never get a chance like this again. Besides, the signals Draco had been sending him about Severus were clear. He'd been dressed this way to entice Severus and it looked like he'd gotten to his muse more than a bit. It secretively pleased him greatly. He wasn't used to dragging compliments from people. Mostly he got comments about how unruly his hair was.  
  
Oh what the hell! Throwing all caution aside, Harry reached up with his hands and cupped Severus' face. It had to be the song. Those darn lyrics. Those damn words. They just seem to speak to him, and it seemed to him that if he wanted Severus he would have to go after him. It wasn't like he was going to lose anything, when would he get a chance like this ever again?  
  
Oh, he had something to lose he thought as he melted into the wonderfully delicious taste of Severus Snape. He had his mind to lose. He had his very being. He was drowning in flavor of Severus. In the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware that Severus wasn't pulling away from him. Small relief.  
  
That was his last capable thought when he felt Severus' tongue part his mouth and dive into his own wet warmth. He had to be dreaming, could it really be that his sex god was kissing him back? He was. He had to be in a fantasy. Why would Severus Snape ever want to be kissing him? But he was--- oh bloody hell he was.  
  
~  
  
Author's Note: All your responses were wonderful! I live for feedback! Any suggestions for what you'd like to come next, what you think is coming is all appreciated. You can actually sway me in this story since -cough- I'm not writing ahead. Sorry that this was out a little late. My beta didn't get back me so this is w/o any betaing. If there are mistakes--- deal with it. And updates without feedback will only get progressively more slower.  
  
Thanks to newtypeshadow, Suburb Angel, Eaiva le Fay, slytherinsela, Alicorn1 (I like some of it, I'll give you credit if I use any of it. thanks! I'm probably gonna use it), Raven, Starlina, athenakitty, crissy, Faby, TommieBoy182, The Shadow Bandit, kathy stggvk (harry and leather is always good), pixyfairy120, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Baby Sphinx, Erica, Corgi1, snaper, mySakurazukamori (Ron will be in somehow), Maximum Poofy- Queen of AU (ha I update with a chapter instead of a chapter note ;p), Redrum, Ms. Padfoot (5 was actually 200 words longer than the rest),  
  
Indzan: Thanks -blushes- I love that you're throwing suggestions around! Unfortunately if you see the date, I finished this chapter almost a week ago. But keep suggesting, it always helps!  
  
Anisdeltoro16: Your suggestion came late, 3 days later but keeps suggesting, it always helps. I love reading them and thinking about them.  
  
Queen of Vegetasei: Your suggestions are good. -winks- Will try to have more chapters, definitely.  
  
Jane: I stink in the best way it seems. I think this cliffhanger's not so bad, but it lingers. Naw, it's pretty bad isn't it? MOP is the "Mirror of Paradox" it's my other older and more popular HP/SS story.  
  
Katmint - formerly Moonlight: I won't tell you anything about the ending because I haven't even thought that far ahead. I'm only one chapter ahead of you guys.  
  
Tempest8: I didn't even think of having Severus flip out about the cost. Oh well ^_^.  
  
Setsuri: I 'ship Harry/Voldemort too, but this story is definitely Harry/Severus. No worries on that.  
  
Jes Imagin: Heh, that's definitely something I could do. We'll see. I don't really want to make Harry famous though. I don't think he'd like it. His gryffindor modesty and all.  
  
Malakai: You got the boost of self confidence well, besides Harry's a gryffindor--- he'd do something bold like this. At least I think so. Besides, too much internal thoughts methinks need some action! 


	7. Finally There

Title: Wishes are for Dreamers (WAD)  
  
Author: Yih  
  
Disclaimer: All rights are JK. Rowling except for the lyrics and the situation ^_^.  
  
Warning: This is slash, don't read if you don't like it! Non-magic AU!  
  
Beta: Quickjewel! (Thanks for the speedy correcting!)  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
7: Finally There (August 31, 2003 to September 3, 2003)  
  
Bittersweet. It was sweet and it was bitter. Who knew how Severus would react to this forced upon kiss? He had responded, oh how he had responded! The liquid fire that Severus had inspired was making him feel like jelly. But it was a wonderful feeling, something that he hoped wouldn't go away once Severus' lips left his. It undoubtedly would. He was a fan, and more importantly he was more than a decade younger than Severus.  
  
Too enticing. Too damn tempting was Severus' thought as his tongue slowly withdrew from the wet warmth of Harry's mouth. This was wrong. This was entirely wrong, but it felt so good to be so wrong. And it wasn't like he'd been the one to kiss the young man. Harry had kissed him. Still, he was the one that had deepened the kiss. He'd been the one that had introduced the tongue play.  
  
"We can't do this," Severus breathed out raggedly. "You're two decades younger than me. And it's my fault for encouraging you. I shouldn't have. You know this is wrong."  
  
It was wrong. Harry knew that. But to hear Severus say it in such a way that hinted, that more than suggested that he wanted it as well did terrible things to Harry's morals. It wasn't wrong because of their ages, which was what Severus was trying to drill into his mind. It was wrong because he was dying. He had no right to get into a relationship with anyone when he was going to hurt them.  
  
"It's wrong," Harry agreed with deep sadness. "I have no right to get into any kind of relationship when I don't even know if I'll be alive next month or not."  
  
Severus' heart dropped from the lofty heights it was occupying in its self righteous glee. What importance was age when there was a life here at stake? Harry was seeing things in a much clearer perspective than he was. Age was important, true, but the fact Harry was terminally ill was of far more importance. Harry was right. He shouldn't start a relationship when he was this ill. He shouldn't, but then again what chance would he ever have later on?  
  
"It's not wrong for that reason," Severus reassured. "You don't have much time left; you should enjoy every little bit that you have left."  
  
"I don't want to hurt anyone else," Harry cried out, tears starting to glisten in his emerald eyes. "My parents are already heartbroken. I couldn't bear to hurt anyone else."  
  
"If you fear hurting people, you will never live." Severus sighed deeply and an unmistakable tenderness overcame him. It made him gently brush away the hair that had fallen over Harry's beautiful eyes. "From the little I know of such matters, I would think that it would be better to let someone know you and remember you even in sorrow than to deprive someone of knowing you. If you caused that person sadness, then you must have brought them some bit of happiness beforehand."  
  
Every word Severus said struck Harry deeply. He was right. Those were the words that his mother had also advised him when he'd been stuck in his depression the first time around. He had tried not to let his habit of not wanting to hurt people from causing him to be too cautious and to not live. It was hard though. For him the need to protect others was instinctive.  
  
The gentle touch from Severus broke the rest of Harry resistance. "I want you," he whispered painfully, knowing that he'd probably be rejected but at least he wouldn't be going home with any regrets. "I don't care about our age difference, and you know I don't have much time left on this Earth. Would it be too much to ask to be with you sexually?"  
  
His eyes briefly met Severus' in an intense gaze before he lowered them. "I'm well over the age of consent," he continued. "You know what you're getting into, and I know what I'm getting into. I don't presume to think it'll last, but we have the rest of this week left and there's no one I desire more than you. You've been my--- wet dream for years." He blushed fiercely after he admitted that. "I have no one else I'd rather lose my virginity to than you."  
  
This silence wasn't awkward, it was more of absolute shock than anything else. What could Severus say? The offer was tempting. No strings attached. No presumption of anything lasting and he would have the opportunity to taste the innocence. But it wasn't right. Harry shouldn't be giving his virginity to him, to a man old enough to be his father!  
  
"There is no one else I would rather lose my virginity to than you," Harry repeated. "No one else, but if you don't want to take the offer I'll understand. But I'm just trying to experience life as much as I can for as long as I can. I don't know how much about my illness that you know, but I have my good days and I have my bad days. Right now, these are the good days. It gets bad though, and when it gets bad there's nothing I can do except try to rest."  
  
"You don't know what you're asking me to do," Severus growled. "You're asking me to take your innocence away. You should wait for someone special to do that."  
  
"You're a romantic?" Harry queried softly. "I never would have guessed."  
  
Severus narrowed his eyes as he heard the undertone of sarcasm. "It's a bit young for you to be so pessimistic about romance and what not."  
  
Harry chuckled dryly. "Facing death twice and looking down it once tends to do that to a person. And it's not like I don't believe it's out there. I'd like to think that there's a soul mate out there for me, but I'm realistic too. With the probability that I don't outlive this year, how am I suppose to find him?"  
  
To hear his own theory on soul mates voiced by this desirable young man heated Severus' blood that much more. Yes, indeed. What was the possibility that anyone found their soul mate in the world? He'd like to believe that there was someone out there for him, but the probability was slim to none of finding them. Fate, bah fate! Fate was something made up for little girls and their castles of Prince Charmings.  
  
It was also intriguing Harry's quick change in moods. From bittersweet to reflective to caustic. It was damn interesting. He liked the young man before; he liked Harry that much more now. Emotions had always fascinated him, especially since he kept such a tight leash around his own. Suffocated them he did, which was why he was enthralled by people that could shift through them swiftly. Well, as long as they weren't flighty and Harry was not.  
  
Just adaptable. "You wish on a falling star and pray that he's not far?" Severus commented cynically.  
  
Harry, who had been sitting on the piano pressing on random keys froze when he heard what Severus had said. He liked the sound of the words. "Repeat what you just said again," Harry asked impatiently.  
  
Severus wasn't used to being ordered around by anyone, but he saw the slightly mad look in Harry's eyes and knew that a muse had pounced. "Wish on a falling star and pray that he's not far?" he repeated questioningly.  
  
Nodding frantically, Harry started looking around for a pen and paper that Severus was kind enough to shove into his hands. Once he had the pen, Harry began to scribble onto the notebook paper in a swift scrawl his sudden inspiration. He didn't stop until most of the sheet was filled with his slanted handwriting. When he was done, he wordlessly passed the piece of paper to Severus and started playing with the keyboard, trying to find a proper tune for the lyrics he'd just written.  
  
"Searching for You" by Yih  
  
Searching near  
Searching far  
Searching for you  
I haven't found you  
I've wished on a falling star  
I've prayed you're not far  
  
People say it's impossible  
To find that someone  
That's meant for you  
That's the perfect one  
  
I believe that it's not  
I hope that you're out there  
I wish I could wish you into being  
I wish I could be where you are  
  
Searching near  
Searching far  
Searching for you  
I haven't found you  
I've wished on a falling star  
I've prayed you're not far  
  
I haven't found you yet  
I haven't given up yet  
I believe that you're out there  
I just wish I could be where you are   
  
It was a sappy song, but that didn't mean it wasn't a catchy song lyric wise. Of course while the lyrics were the vital being of the song, it was the deep vibes of the music that would make this song a killer. As important as lyrics were, the music was what truly made a song standout. When both lyrics and music matched perfectly, it resulted in a truly awesome song.  
  
There wasn't much Severus changed about the lyrics, a word or two. Harry kept trying to find the perfect few notes to come up with a set tune, but still hadn't managed to derive the right sound yet. When Harry rested his forehead against the piano, Severus sat down and something about a particular note Harry played struck a chord with him.  
  
Staring at the keys intensely, Severus started plucking out a sweet harmony that had been stimulated by the meaning of the song and the notes Harry had tried out. Over and over he played the same melody, occasionally Harry would add a suggestion but other than that the only sound reverberating through the room was the piano. By the time the night was over, they had finished composing the song tentatively titled 'Searching for You.' "It's late," Severus commented as he glanced at the clock that read 2 in the morning. "You should try to get some sleep. We've got a pretty busy day tomorrow. If I'm going to the award show this weekend we'll have a lot of publicity events that I'm required to attend to boost awareness. Wouldn't want to go through this torture without getting something out of it."  
  
"True," Harry murmured, "but don't you need to practice the song?"  
  
"I do my best practicing at night," Severus responded.  
  
Harry smiled and coughed lightly. He didn't really know how to approach the subject again. Severus had never really given him a clear answer to his proposition. They had just sort of skipped over the subject, never really clarifying the issue. "So," Harry began awkwardly, "what I said early is still true. There's no one else I'd rather lose my virginity than you."  
  
A dreadful silence filled the room with its overbearing presence. It unnerved Harry. "You don't know what you're asking me," Severus replied harshly. "Do you really think a one night stand is what you want for your first time?"  
  
"It's my choice to make," Harry said stubbornly, his emerald eyes flashing brightly.  
  
"I think it's a wrong one," Severus stated fiercely. Both of their eyes were lock together in an intense stare. "I did something similar once, and I don't think you're the type to be able to let go as a one time deal requires. Do you really think you're going to be able to walk away from this without getting hurt?"  
  
Harry breathed in sharply. Severus had a good point. It wasn't like him to walk away without a care in the world. That would be hard for him to handle. However, when would he ever be given a chance like this again? Never. Not with Severus, the object of his affection. "I don't know that, but from what you say in your music--- you can't live without getting hurt."  
  
Getting his own words thrown back at him always threw him for a loop. It wasn't like he had any objection to bedding Harry other than the age factor. That and the fact he didn't really enjoy superficial relationship only about physical satisfaction. If Harry was ten years older and if Harry wasn't terminally ill--- he could see himself in steady relationship with the brilliant, vibrant young man.  
  
Reality was different though. Harry was two decades younger than him, and Harry was terminally ill. As much as those were good reasons to say no, it still was hard. He'd feel better if he could convince the young man to not go through with his plan by his own free will rather than forcing his hand by refusing. It was because he'd compose a song with Harry that he felt so strongly for him.  
  
Composing music with someone was very intimate. It made him feel closer to Harry than he probably was. He sighed heavily and ran his hand violently through his hair. "But this is not music, Harry, it's your life. I know how it's like to try to get rid of virginity because you physically desire a person. I've done it before. And it's true what people say, that sex is so much better when you're emotionally involved.  
  
"Physical satisfaction is wonderful, but emotional and physical fulfillment is so much more gratifying," he continued on. "I know you don't have much time left in the world, but do you really want to give up something special like that to someone you hardly know?"  
  
Another deep pause echoed throughout the room. "For me music is very personal," Harry remarked. "I don't know if it's that personal for you, but if someone listens to all the songs that I've composed then he would know a great deal about the type of person that I am. I can't detach myself from my music, it's so very much a part of who I am."  
  
All of what Harry said as true. Music was personal; music was intimate. How did one truly detach oneself from a piece they'd composed? He had never even tried. "For you, I think it's the same," Harry hindered a guess aloud. "From your music, I can tell that someone has hurt you badly in your past so deeply that it's made you into cynic. You're wary, and you've wised up. You don't want anyone to hurt you."  
  
"Everyone wants that," Severus commented without his usual sneering condescension. "Who wants to be hurt?"  
  
Harry nodded that what he'd said was true. "So I do know you," he murmured softly. "Your music reveals you as it reveals me."  
  
Point stated. Severus had to give him that. Harry knew how to make a point. But still it was wrong for so many reasons, tempting for just as many. Damn it. He was split. Why did Harry have to be so very young? Why couldn't he have met someone like Harry years ago? "It's still not enough," Severus stated firmly, feeling like he had to be the one to set everything since he was the adult. "I can't do that to you knowing that one day you'll regret it."  
  
"Sodding romantic," Harry muttered, but his eyes held no recrimination. "I respect that. I respect you even more now. I understand, and I'll wait for that someone." His lips curved up with amusement, his eyes sparkling like the most precious emeralds. "Though I will say that I might regret having been with you, but I definitely will regret never having been with you."  
  
Severus had to smile. It wasn't often he got a compliment like that.  
  
~  
  
"You know Severus isn't going to like this," Draco stated mildly as he glanced at the itinerary that his father had planned for Severus and Harry tomorrow. It was a shit load, and that was stating it gently. He knew that his godfather was expecting something like this, but not to this degree. There wasn't much Lucius could do; Voldemort had him whipped.  
  
"He isn't going to like it," Lucius agreed, "but he has no choice in the matter. He has to do it, just like I have to accompany him to all the events because I'm his agent. I don't really have an option. You know how Voldemort is. When he asked for something, it's done. You don't say no to the man, not ever. Not that I wouldn't like the opportunity to do just that."  
  
"You've never been able to get your way with him ever," Draco pointed out with a degree of boldness. It was a rather sore spot with his father that Voldemort had him so firmly under his thumb.  
  
Lucius scowled. "You don't need to remind me of that."  
  
Draco grinned then frowned as something sparked in his brain. "What are we going to do about that McGonagall woman during all these events? You know she'll want to tag along."  
  
"I'll think of something," Lucius remarked calmly, all of his former anxiety having receded beneath the cool exterior that made him a master at his job. "You know I always do."  
  
"That you do," Draco allowed. "But she is a bit of a banshee. I actually didn't think she was quite so menacing; however, the fact that she actually stood up to Severus is rather remarkable."  
  
"Yes, it is rather," Lucius granted. "Not many can do that, then again young Harry has shown himself to be quite extraordinary as well."  
  
"That he is," Draco murmured softly, thinking about the afternoon that he'd spent with the astonishing young man he was beginning to see as a good friend. "That he is."  
  
Both father and son lost themselves in their own musings, unaware of how close their thoughts and reflections truly were. Both were thinking about Severus and Harry, about how Harry might be able to thaw the ice wall that Severus had built around his heart since he got hurt as a youth. If there was anyone that could breakthrough to Severus, it was Harry.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Author's Note: Sorry, that this was late. I didn't have the net for 3 days, so it was delayed 3 days to getting to my beta, who was uber uber fast and got it back to me in 12 hours after I sent it to her! So that's why this is up on a Saturday ;p. Next chapter should be on schedule (somewhere around there anyway). It all depends how much time I have to write and if my muse gets inspired. It takes me about 5 days to write 1 chapter. Just go to my fanfic blog to keep up on the story's progress. Hope you like the song! Remember reviews make my muse happy!  
  
Thanks to Rani, Tirla, amythest, lOliTa, StoicNIMWIT, Sonya8, Leah, Tiamat, Fallen Dragon, FerretMalfoy, ShadowWolf, Korinna Myorin, xia, Alicorn1, abraxis, Shinigami061, The Goddess Artemis, TommieBoy182, starsong, Darkflame173, moonbeam, DaughterofDeath, Suburb Angel, Coo, athenakitty (wait and see), Jewelclaw Lady of Wind, pixyfairy120, crissy, MentalStaples, ntamara (switched whenever I switched dialogue, which is easy to spot), Corgi1, LeeLeePotter, wintermoon2 (it wasn't an alliteration, it was a parallelism ;p), The Shadow Bandit, lupusdragon, Delfeus, Crow21681, Maximum Poofy-Queen of AU, holidayinspan, kalih, IncubusSuccub, Ms. Padfoot. Tempest8, Starlina, Redrum, Robin R. Smith.  
  
witchchild: They're about even, but I think MOP fans are more um fanatical. WAD is better written, it's more of my aesthetic writing style.  
  
me3gogi: Severus has a band, but he also plays the piano and sings in his performances (as you will see).  
  
Jes Imagin: You're right about Harry and fame. I made the song up before the chapter, so the song helped to write the chapter. Your impression of the title is one way, I did show it could be optimistic in the "Wishes are for Dreamers" song.  
  
Jane: Wooh, you don't know how relieved I am to go to the uni's library to write. It's quiet there enough to write.  
  
Malakai: No, not much of a circle runner. I'm too direct for that.  
  
Setsuri: No duet. Draco's a Malfoy, why wouldn't he take after his father?  
  
NayNymic: I won't know the ending until I'm about to write it and I've been known to rewrite a scene several times in my mind before getting it down on the computer screen. Ron may show up. Not sure. Hermione's pairing is up in the air. I've done Her/D before and I've done Her/Blaise and Her/R, so those are all possibilities. 


	8. Media Madness

Title: **Wishes Are For Dreamers**

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: Quickjewel

~

8: Media Madness (September 11, 2003 to September 12, 2003)

Mornings were horrible.  He threw up.  Thank god it wasn't that bad.  Thank god it wasn't blood that he threw up.  Sometimes it happened, something about it being easy for him to bleed.  That's how they first found out he had leukemia.  He wouldn't stop bleeding from a simple cut.  The doctors had first thought he was a hemophiliac, but his blood had tested normal.  

Not many leukemia victims suffered blood loss like he did, but he did.  It was something he'd gotten use to and had learnt to deal with.  The medication they'd given him in his first round of treatments in his early teens had left the problem that much worse.  It was his excessive bleeding like the first time that had signified that the cancer had come out of remission and had started ravaging his weak body once more.  

He leaned his forehead against the mirror and licked his lips.  He didn't pray anymore.  He hadn't prayed since the cancer had returned.  He'd given up believing that he would be saved.  Death was coming, it was only a matter of when.  A frown marred his smooth forehead when he tasted a bitter saltiness.  He knew the distinct flavor he was tasting--- it was his blood.  

Sharply he raised his head and with his bloodshot eyes stared into the mirror.  It was as he thought.  It was blood.  His tongue was too familiar with the bitterness to ever misidentify it.  Such a pity, he'd hoped that any signs of his illness wouldn't come up in this week.  Then again that was hopeless optimism on his part.  Why else was he going to America for experimental treatment?  

He was dreadfully sick.  This was a more blatant physical sign of it.  He'd been throwing up blood quite regularly in the morning for the past few months.  Some mornings weren't bad, and some mornings he thought he was watching his life being drained down the sink.  It was a wonder to him how he managed to still smile.  He couldn't give up though, not when his parents were doing everything in their power to make him better.

He didn't want to let them down, even though in his heart he believed that it was only a matter of time before he eventually succumbed to death.  Leukemia was a relatively treatable cancer.  However, the odds of a recovery after coming out of remission were a hundred times worse.  Cancer that reactivated proved hardier and well, the victim proved to be weaker from the first round of treatment.

This was exactly where he was at.  He blinked his eyes furiously, trying to get rid of the stinging sensation.  It went away, but it took several minutes before the burning feeling faded.  But when it was gone, his eyes didn't look quite so bad and he had carefully rinsed away the residue of the blood that had stained his lips.  

He sighed as he looked at the pale reflection that stared back at him.  He looked like shit.  He didn't feel far from that mental assessment either.  Running a hand violently through his ever unruly dark strands, he carefully gazed down at his hand.  It was trembling.  Damn.  It was happening.  Why were mornings always so terrible for him?  

~

The press was going to be a madhouse today.  Severus was not going to be pleased.  He'd done the best that he was able to do.  He'd managed to lower the number of interviews from ten to a mere three.  But one of the interviews had a full photo session.  Severus was going to wring his neck for that.  But hey that was better than going to an additional seven other interviews, wasn't it?  

Still, Severus probably wasn't going to see it that way.  Testy and temperamental.  Becoming a celebrity had not made it worse, it had just made it come out more frequently--- all that additional stimulus.  Lucius grinned.  As much as he preferred not to get Severus riled up, it was glorious to see his best friend with his dark eyes flashing with such potent emotions.  

No wonder girls swooned and swore he was a sex god.  There was no denying his appeal.  There was something magnetic about him that drew the admiring eyes toward him.  It was something that he also saw in young Harry Potter.  Now if only he could hear the boy sing, and if he could be sure that the young man had a decent voice--- well there were things that could be done with his future.  

That was if he had a future, the negative and pessimistic side of his mind nagged at him.  It had become much more active at his wife's death.  It tempered his arrogance and haughtiness enough that it didn't detract him from what he did best, being Severus Snape's agent.  It was true, Harry was going to be lucky to live through this second bout of cancer.

He knew how dangerous it was.  Narcissa had had cancer in her early twenties and had gone into remission.  For five blissful years they had lived together and shared their souls with each other.  He had never truly known he'd loved her until the cancer had struck back.  He'd always thought it was too hard to be totally enamored with one person, but he'd never cheated on Narcissa even if his eyes did wander at times.  

It was when the cancer started to kill her slowly before his eyes that he knew without a doubt that she was who he was in love with.  Was it possible for him to fall in love again?  He doubted that it'd happen.  Narcissa was the love of his life, and that she would remain.  Her second battle with cancer had killed her, and it was highly likely the case would be the same for Harry.  The poor sod.  The poor kid.  

"Father?" Draco whispered softly, always cautious when interrupting his father in the middle of his thoughts.  He knew when his father had that kind of facial expression that he was thinking of Narcissa.  "I've shown Severus the schedule."  

"What did he say?" Lucius asked carefully.  

Draco broke out into a smile when he saw the mischievous position of Lucius' eyebrow.  He knew that look.  His father was expecting Severus to be upset.  It wouldn't be right for him to disappoint him, would it?  "He gave me that death glare," he responded wryly.  "I thought he was going to start screaming, but all he did was mutter your name in a low breath.  I daresay he's not too pleased with you, father."  

"I must say I'll have to agree with you," Lucius drawled, the dark steel gray eyes twinkling with bemusement.  "I wouldn't be too happy with myself either looking at that scheduled, but then again he should know that by putting off all public engagements he just makes it worse on himself when does have to go out.  Then there's that much more he's obligated to fulfill."  

"You did tell him that," Draco remarked.  "But you know Severus, he likes being a hermit.  Too bad with the line of business that he's in that it's virtually impossible.  If he were a writer, it'd be possible but as a singer?  Hell no.  He should bloody well get used to it."  

Lucius shook his head.  "He'll never get used to it," he commented knowingly.  "He's been like this for the last ten years.  He's undeniably the most popular singer that has never done a worldwide tour.  For fuck's sake, he hasn't even done more than a string of concerts at one time at one general area.  Despite that, he's still one of the most profitable artists in the business."

"Thanks to you," Draco murmured.  "If it weren't for you, it wouldn't be that way.   You know that he depends heavily on your business savvy.  While he's not a buffoon like other musicians are at managing their assets, he hasn't quite got your cutthroat instincts."  

His father waved his hair carelessly in the air at the compliment.  Sure it was nice to hear the admiring tone in his son's voice, but there were other important issues to deal with.  Like reining in Severus' god awful temper.  One thing that didn't need to get worse was his ornery disposition.  That he would have preferred to stay in check.  Too bad there was more stimulus the more famous Severus got.  

He took a deep breath.  He had no other option.  He was going to have to make Severus see that he was going to have to buckle down and do the schedule.  And he was going to bloody make sure Severus did it with a smile on his sodding face!

~

He hated Lucius.  He hated how Lucius always somehow got him to do exactly what he didn't want to do.  Like how he was sitting in the car being chauffeured to the first interview of the day.  Not only was this an interview it was a bloody photo shoot as well.  It wasn't just a simple take one picture and let it be done photo shoot, it was a take several rolls of pictures and pick a few good ones to put into the magazine.  Bloody hell!  

The only thing that lessened his horrible mood was when he saw Harry's pale and strained face.  Harry wasn't looking good.  It must be one of those bad days that Lucius had told him about when Narcissa had been sick those many years ago.  It was on those types of days that Lucius had failed to show up to work and had to have Severus take little Draco to school and stuff.  Now he understood why Lucius was so frazzled.  Harry looked bad.  

"Are you all right?" he asked, feeling awkward and despising the feeling.  Until this moment, Harry had never really looked sick even though Severus knew that he was indeed sick.  But seeing and knowing were two entirely different things.  He was seeing it now and now that he was seeing it--- it seemed all that much more real.  Much more there.  

Harry nodded and smiled weakly.  "I'm all right.  I've had worse days."

"You don't have to come with me, you could have stayed in," Severus remarked kindly.  "You should have gotten some rest.  The interviews aren't important, what's happening tonight is more important.  You wouldn't want to wear yourself out would you?"  

"I'm fine," he stated firmly.  "Trust that I know how much I can take.  I've taken care of myself this long, and I've been all right.  Besides, I can't wait to see you harass those poor reporters."

"More like they harass me," Severus sneered.  "Do you have any idea how aggravating all these public functions and events that I must attend are?  Unfortunately, they are a part of the job description.  The only good thing about all this crap is that it gives me free rein to compose ay kind of music I want.  Not many artists have that kind of power over their music."  

Harry smiled and rested his head against his hand.  He breathed in slowly, trying to fight a wave of dizziness that would have made him tumble to the ground if he had been standing.  Once it passed he blinked carefully, trying to get his bearings again.  He silently thanked whatever god was above when the car slid smoothly to a stop.  They had arrived.  

Chaos ensued.  Discord proceeded.  It was an absolute madhouse as they were dragged into the headquarters of Rolling Stone magazine.  Promptly they were being pressed into chairs and makeup was applied to their faces.  Harry was glad that he wasn't in Severus Snape's place.  He might love composing music but he could never handle a hectic life like this.  He enjoyed his privacy too much.  

Music was a sanctuary.  This environment wasn't.  He was relieved that once they realized that he wasn't anyone terribly important that they only did a quick powder job on him before moving on to the next arrival.  From a darkened corner he watched Severus grumble and growl at the people that were pampering him.  While he generally preferred the natural look, the makeup artists had done a credible job in making Severus look even more outrageously sexy.  

They'd done so by not overdoing it.  They'd done it by accentuating Severus' most spectacular feature his thin yet ultra sensual lips.  Watching the many MVs that he'd acquired over the years, it was definitely those lips that drew his attention.  How it managed to carefully sing out the haunting lyrics, how they might taste in a kiss.  And he knew they tasted bittersweet.  Bittersweet because he was unlikely to ever kiss Severus again.  

Too bad he felt too damn bad because seeing Severus pose for the pictures normally would have mildly aroused him at the very least.  But his tiredness was catching up on him.  He wasn't aroused, not even the slightest bit.  He sighed, it wasn't so bad--- this weariness.  Being this attracted to Severus wasn't good for him, and it only ended up making him uncomfortable.  

Watching Severus as he modeled for the camera was amusing and fascinating.  While he might not enjoy doing it, the photographer seemed to adore him and Severus was a natural at what he was doing.  It didn't take very long before the photographer called it quits.  That he had enough good pictures to make the photo shoot cut for the magazine.  

All Harry knew was that he had to get his hands on the magazine when it came out onto the newsstand.  It was going to be an incredible issue.  Too bad it wasn't going to come out for at least two weeks.  He wondered if it was going to be in a universal issue or if it was just going to be based in Europe.  He guessed he could always get his parents to ship a copy over from UK.  

"Harry?"  

He was jolted out of his daydreaming.  

"It's time for the interview," Severus remarked dryly, his eyes glittering with impatient amusement.  "While I've been tortured, you seem to be rather enjoying yourself."  

"Why wouldn't I enjoy watching you being sexy?" Harry teased lightly.  But in the deep green of his eyes there was a sincere compliment.  "And you may have not liked what you were doing, but you're a natural.  You've got stage presence and star quality, Severus."  

Severus shrugged and gave him a look that said he did what he had to do.  There was something in Severus' eyes that made Harry think he wanted to say more to him but whatever he wanted to say was left unsaid when the interviewer appeared.  It didn't matter if Rolling Stone was a decent magazine, if something controversial was said it'd still make the page no matter if the magazine was respectable or not.  Whatever would make it sell was what got printed.  

"Good morning," the stylish and sophisticated young woman in her early twenties greeted them with a smile that was sunny though a tad strained.  If Harry didn't know better, he'd guess that she didn't want to be here.  But why wouldn't she be?  She was interviewing only one of the most popular rock icons.  "I'm Alicia Spinnet and I'll be doing your interview today.  It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Mr. Snape."  

"Why don't we just get down to business?" Severus countered curtly.  "You're not the only interview that I have today."  

He was being abrupt, Harry wasn't surprise.  Severus Snape was well known for being brusque.  It was his personality.  Harry knew why, reporters were the bane of an artist's existence for the most part.  Sometimes their reporting was good, but mostly the news they reported was dug up and manipulated in the best way to generated sales.  Life was all about money sadly enough.  Money talked.  

Her smile seemed even more strained as her gentle blue eyes flickered over to where Harry was sitting.  To Harry's astonishment, the tension in her facial muscles smoothed away and the curve of her lips melted away into a genuine smile.  "You're Harry Potter, aren't you?"  

His eyes widened.  How in bloody hell did she know his name?  "You are, aren't you?"  He nodded slowly.  "I knew it!" she cried out excitedly, her blue eyes gleaming with renewed life.  "I've read all about you.  You're a child prodigy on the music circuit.  You've won every piano competition for your age group in sight.  You're bloody brilliant."  

"Thanks," he whispered, a deep blush staining his cheeks.  "Didn't know anyone kept up with that."  

She smiled enthusiastically.  "I'm new to the magazine, the regular reporter called in sick.  I'm not really suppose to be doing this, but my article on musical prodigies really impressed the editors and they decided to give me this break.  Unfortunately, I'm not really up to date on the popular music scene.  I'm more in to the classical genre."

"Severus Snape is a fabulous composer," he murmured softly, still a dark crimson color.  "And this interview isn't really about me."  

"Oh but it is!" she exclaimed, her bright eyes shining.  "That's the reason they've given me this chance.  I knew I'd be able to do the article when I heard that your wish was being fulfilled by Mr. Snape.  Child musical prodigy's dream made true by his rock idol."  She smiled kindly at them.  "It's going to be a wonderfully inspirational story."  

Severus noted how awkward Harry appeared to be.  He wasn't use to the attention; he didn't thrive under it.  How similar to him.  How very similar.  "And it's simply fantastic that you've done this for Harry.  I've heard that he's a huge fan of yours and considering what is known about your reputation, this is quite a big deal."  

"It is," Severus agreed.

"What made you decide to go ahead and fulfill Harry's wish?"

He glanced briefly at Harry, knowing that Harry knew the real answer.  That his agent had pushed him into it, had coerced him.  "It's not everyday that someone like me is able to grant someone's wish for them," he remarked huskily.  "Harry's a special young man, and while it may be his dream to meet me--- I think it's been more of a privilege for me to get to meet his acquaintance."  

That brought a full blown grin onto Alicia's face.  "And how did it feel for you to meet your idol, Harry?"  

Amazing.  That Severus had said something that nice.  Harry almost didn't believe it, that Severus had to be lying to get the publicity that Lucius obviously wanted.  However, it was well known that whatever came out of Severus' mouth was the truth.  He didn't soften it for anyone, and when Harry gazed in Severus' dark eyes he knew that the compelling older man was entirely serious.  Amazing.  

"Bloody brilliant," Harry responded throatily.  "Bloody brilliant."  

~

**Author's Note:** I've already outlined the story enough to know that this story will be no more than 15 chapters.  A nice reasonable size I think.  Anyway, if you like this story go check out my other non-magic AU that's also going to be HP/SS called "In Preparation."  It's where Harry's at an all-male boarding school.  Doesn't that sound simply delicious?  And review because college is stressful and I like knowing that people are reading.  

Thanks to TommieBoy182, DaughterofDeath, two2feet, Kelsey, me3gogi, sentarla, Goldengirl2, Robin R. Smith, slytherinsela, Shinigami061,  Katmint – formerly Moonlight, enahma, Xyverz, fan, Setsuri, Tempest8, Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen, pixyfairy120, Illucia, lupusdragon, LeeleePotter (hehe, nice vision), Tirla (Sev is an adult, unfortunately), The Goddess Artemis, SlytherinEvenstar (the match won't be Severus), Alena, athenakitty, crow21681, corgi1, tati1, Malakai, abraxis (her/d 'shipper, have I transformed you?), Redrum, Ms. Padfoot, 

Crissy: Just recently.  It's just that interesting ideas have popped.  

Jane: No, I don't.  What does she write?  


	9. Wishes are for Believers

Title: Wishes Are For Dreamers  
  
Author: Yih  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  
  
Beta: Quickjewel  
  
~  
  
9: Wishes are for Believers (September 13, 2003 to September 16, 2003)  
  
"You have to perform two songs," Lucius told him with a grim expression on his face. "I don't know how Voldemort managed, but he somehow got you time to do two songs. I could wring his neck if he wasn't such an important figure in the music business!"  
  
"You're telling me this just hours before the performance?" Severus queried incredulously. "What do you expect me to do? I only barely managed to finish setting down the music for the song I'd planned on singing."  
  
"I only found out scarcely an hour ago!" Lucius exclaiming, running a hand violently through his hair. His hands shook with agitation and nerves. Things were falling apart. This performance was important. It wasn't as integral as if Severus was a new artist starting out, but every show was significant. A good performance would boost the new song and upcoming album without too much pain and aggravation on Severus' part.  
  
"And you're performing in the middle and as the closing act," he continued onward, trying to ignore the scowl that was marring Severus' face. "So what song are you going to choose?" he asked carefully. "I'd assume that you'll be singing 'Tainted' first and then something else for the closing song."  
  
"You assume right," Severus sneered. "But I still have no idea what I'm going to sing for the last song."  
  
"I know you'll pick something right," Lucius murmured, placing a comforting hand on his best friend's shoulder. "I have faith in your judgment."  
  
"You don't have much of a choice," he snapped back, not in a good humor to start with and it was rapidly degenerating with this additional information. "Now get out. I need some time to reflect before I can decide, and having you breathing anxious down my neck will only irritate me further."  
  
Now was not the time to press Severus. Lucius knew that. That was why he carefully back up away from the temperamental musician and quietly tiptoed out of the room. This had gone much better than he had been expecting. He'd fully been anticipating that Severus was going to blow up and give him one of those death glares he was famous for.  
  
But he hadn't. Was it young Harry's influence? Possibly.  
  
~  
  
What song? What song to sing? His dark eyes flickered over the sheets of old music he always kept with him. He pulled out the folder and flipped through some of his older songs. Some songs he had never recorded because they weren't good enough and others he hadn't because they were too personal. There was one song that was beautiful that he had never dared to release. This one spoke from the very depths of his soul.  
  
Did he dare? Did he really dare? There was a reason he'd written the song years ago and had never had the real desire to play it for anyone but himself. It was the song he played when he needed a cathartic release. It was no wonder that he'd titled the song "Catharsis." It was the emotional discharge he severely needed at times.  
  
Hesitantly he let his fingers play the beginning notes on the keyboard that he always had set up in his room. The soft harmonious melody hummed out, and he found he couldn't stop once he started playing. It wasn't long before he hit the tumultuous part of the song. The stormy, the fierce part- -- the center--- the soul of the song. It rocked and it rocked hard.  
  
He felt the music singing inside him. This was what he loved doing. This was why he was in the business. But the song was fiercely personal, it told a story about himself. It was an aching song, touched with a part of him that he usually didn't allow in his songs. Because this song was told from his memories, from his experiences.  
  
Did he dare? He didn't know. Not yet.  
  
~  
  
Most of the evening had gone by in a blur to Harry and Draco, both of whom where sitting near the front row waiting for Severus' highly anticipated performance. It was the first time in over a year that he was public performing. They weren't the only ones looking forward to it. Quite a few of his fans had already started gathering around the stage to get closer to him.  
  
Though Harry and Draco knew what song Severus was performing, indeed they'd heard him practicing quite a bit over the last few days--- it still wasn't the same as a live public appearance by him. Besides, they hadn't heard the full song by him, just bits and pieces. They were both looking forward to seeing the whole song. It was certainly going to be something. Something else.  
  
But to get to that particular performance, they had had to sit through several not so desirable acts. One girl though, a new artist did belt out a difficult song with impressive vocals. Draco believed she was one of the long shots for the Best New Artist award even if she did have the best voice out of the teeny bopper selections. Then again it didn't take much of a voice to be better than her competition.  
  
It was after that noteworthy singing act that they got the performance that probably most of the crowd had been waiting for. A hush came over the audience as the soft glow of the light focused in on Severus sitting elegantly with his head bent down in front of the gleaming black grand piano. It was a beautiful image. Too bad the lighting was too dim to actually get any good resolution pictures.  
  
There was nothing that inspired Harry more than seeing Severus in that position. It was a position of intense concentration and it fit his image of Severus perfectly. There was nothing more poignant to him. Nothing could tear his eyes away once he saw Severus' long, graceful fingers slowly play the beginning chords of "Tainted." The haunting melody filled the air with it's chilling tune. It was not a song to be taken lightly. It was song that stuck around and lingered.  
  
"Tainted" by Yih  
  
I see perfection before me  
I hesitate to approach it  
My touch is tainted  
You say it doesn't matter  
  
Don't you see?  
Don't you know?  
Don't you recognize?  
I am nothing  
You are everything  
  
There is no hesitation in you  
Your steps don't slow  
You make the first move  
You approach me  
  
I push you away  
I try to show you  
I am not good enough  
I am not for you  
  
You refuse to give up  
You persist onward  
I glimpse into a vision  
The perfection of you  
  
Don't you see?  
Don't you know?  
Don't you recognize?  
I am nothing  
You are everything  
  
"You are everything," sang the sexy voice of Severus Snape as the lights properly dimmed down to the point where his black clothed figure faded into the darkness. When he disappeared from sight, the music stopped abruptly. The crashing crescendos that made up the latter part of the song came to a dramatic end. When the lights reappeared, he was gone. Like he was nothing.  
  
"Incredible," Harry murmured. "Simply bloody brilliant."  
  
"You've been saying that a lot recently," Draco remarked, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Then again, it's true. It was bloody brilliant. I wonder why he doesn't perform more often when he so clearly enjoys it."  
  
"There's incredible pressure getting ready," Harry responded understandingly. "But when you're finally up there playing, letting the music wash over you and you feel yourself being pulled in. It's an awesome feeling. There's this amazing rush."  
  
"But, there's a but, isn't there?"  
  
Harry nodded. "Yes. There is a but, at least for me. I daresay it's the same for Severus if he doesn't perform that much. I always get anxious, exceedingly anxious. My nerves paralyze me, yet somehow when I get on stage it fades. I think it's because the music takes over and since I've been playing music so long it's instinctive for me. It's intuitive and that takes over."  
  
"Music isn't like that for me," Draco commented frankly. "I don't enjoy playing it even if I am rather good at it. It doesn't hit me in that vein. I guess I'm too calculating to ever be wildly passionate about anything."  
  
"I don't think so," Harry whispered fiercely. "I think it just hasn't happened for you yet. You haven't found what you really love. Not everyone finds it right away, you know. My mum didn't know that she loved charity work until a few years ago when she was helping cancer patients at the hospital where I was receiving treatment. Now, she's filled her schedule with what she loves doing. Before she was simply a housewife."  
  
"Do you ever get hopeless, Harry?"  
  
It was a question uttered out of no where. The solemnity in Draco's tone told Harry that he was dead serious. This was not a question to be taken lightly. And if there was anyone who could take the truth, Harry felt that Draco was one of them. He didn't think anything would truly astonish the platinum blond. "Yes," he murmured softly. "Yes, I do. Don't you?"  
  
Draco hadn't expected the question to be shot back at him. For the first time in his life, he didn't really know what to say. Well, he knew what to say but he couldn't explain it--- not even to himself. After all, why should he be hopeless even at small moments? His life was pretty fabulous. At least he thought so most of the time. Yet even at times, he did feel like something wasn't right.  
  
"Yes," he answered hoarsely.  
  
"Do you know why?" Harry questioned, his eyes filled with kindness and understanding.  
  
Shaking his head, Draco averted his eyes so he didn't have to meet Harry's piercing gaze. It was like those emerald jeweled eyes could read into his soul, and he wasn't' read for that yet.  
  
"My hopelessness stems from knowing that I have less time to live my life to the fullest and there are times when I think I'm wasting my life away. There's so much that I want to do that I know I won't have time for," Harry said honestly. "I know that," he declared intensely when Draco looked like he was going to open his mouth to protest. "I'm realistic, not many cancer patients go into remission twice. Unless a miracle happens and my cancer disappears--- the likelihood is that I won't live out the year.  
  
"But that's not why I'm hopeless. I'm not scared of dying. I'm just regret that I don't have enough time, and that I'll be leaving my loved ones behind. I think it's worse for those that are left behind than the ones that go. We're the ones leaving, and they're the ones staying. I think it's worse for them."  
  
There was silence between them as the crowd clapped appreciatively for another performance. During the stillness they stared at each other as if weighing what the other felt. Finally, Draco broke the quiet between them when he said with reflection, "You've thought about this a lot haven't you?"  
  
Carefully nodded his head, for he had. "When I pitied myself, I did," he admitted truthfully. "But try not to anymore, because I'm the one that will be suffering the most. It's my parents and my friends, especially my mum."  
  
Whatever more that was going to be said between them was cut off when they realized that Severus was about to give his final performance, the closing act of the awards show. They had no clue what he was going to perform. It was all a guess on their part. They both figured he'd perform "Remember Without Memory" since it was his most popular song off his fifth album.  
  
But when he sat down and when his fingers started lingering over the keys they knew it wasn't any one of his songs that he'd ever performed publicly before. Indeed, neither of them had ever heard this song before. Was it new? Was it old?  
  
The beginning of this song wasn't soft. It was hard, fast, and angry. It's vibrancy and life was undeniable. The music was beautiful. When Severus started singing, Harry knew that this song meant a great deal to Severus. It was Severus' song like "Wishes are for Dreamers" was Hermione's song and his own in a way. This song spoke about Severus.  
  
His breath sharpened when he realized that it wasn't his imagination. Severus was singing this song to him. But why? It had to be a past lover, there was too much emotion in it for it to be about him. The raw power of Severus' soaring voice told him that much. He envied whoever had made Severus feel this way.  
  
"Stay" by Yih  
  
I have waited all my life for you  
  
But I failed to recognize you  
It's my doom. It's my hell.  
That I have to live without you  
  
I watched you walk away  
I did nothing to stop you  
All you needed me to say was  
Stay  
  
Stay with me  
  
Don't go  
  
Never surrender  
Stay with me  
  
I sing for you now  
But you have gone away  
It's too late  
I never even said goodbye  
  
I watched you walk away  
I did nothing to stop you  
All you needed me to say was  
Stay  
  
Stay with me  
  
Don't go  
  
Never surrender  
Stay with me  
  
Stay with me  
Don't go  
Never surrender  
Stay  
  
He hadn't wanted to sing it, but when he had thought about Harry he couldn't help but sing it. This song was for Harry as much as it was for him. Never surrender. He'd seen a deep hopelessness in Harry when Harry thought no one was watching him. Stay. Stay with me?  
  
He'd first written the song after what he thought to be the first love of his life had walked away from him. But he realized later it wasn't a true love, it was only infatuation. It didn't matter anyway, this song was still too personal regardless. It told of his foolhardiness, his inability to go after what he wanted. It'd been his fault and no one else. He despised being wrong.  
  
And despite the fact the relevancy of the song was inaccurate, it was still a personal episode in his life. But something inside him compelled him to sing it. As cathartic as it was for him, to let out his bitterness at the hand life had dealt him with love--- it was more meant for Harry. He wanted Harry to realize that the impossible wasn't impossible. It was only impossible when one surrendered.  
  
Throughout the song, his eyes never left Harry's not even for a second. He wanted to will Harry to believe what he was saying. That he should stay. That he should never surrender. It was as his voice lingered over the last word that he saw in Harry's brilliant emerald eyes the dawning comprehension that this song was being sung for him.  
  
Foolish Harry Potter, he thought with derisive fondness. It was too like him not to believe something that was honestly there before his very eyes. Quite pessimistic of him, something he wouldn't have expected from someone that was a happy person despite the circumstances he'd faced. Severus didn't know how he'd react to what Harry had gone through, but it definitely wouldn't have been as accepting as Harry.  
  
He'd be bitter. How was Harry not? He didn't understand, but he admired that. It was strange for him to actually see something good in mankind. It'd been so long since there'd been such a light of purity in his life. Harry gave him a fuzzy feeling that he wasn't use to. Damn, he was getting sentimental. It was an abnormal sensation for him.  
  
As the lights dimmed down into complete darkness, he made his way off the stage overcome by the epiphany that he cared for someone. Sure, he cared about Lucius and Draco, but they were like his family. It'd been so long since he'd actually felt something for someone else. It wasn't like he'd been trying to, he'd really been trying not to.  
  
But Harry made him care. His honesty. His talent. His innocence. His tragedy. His being. It was like Harry had opened the floodgates that he had kept firmly around his soul and his heart. Now that it was released, he couldn't help but feel. Feel the flood of feelings he'd kept so tightly pent up inside.  
  
"Harry Potter," he whispered the name to himself just to hear the name. "Do you realize the effect you have on me?"  
  
He wasn't sure if Harry knew. Sure, Harry had initiated the kiss but he had kindly turned down the young man's generous offer. Did the offer still stand? Did he dare take the risk of being hurt again? Harry was right. It was irresponsible for him to get into a relationship now, considering that he didn't know whether he was going to live the year out or not.  
  
The odds weren't looking good. Yet, here he was contemplating starting one with Harry. No, not really thinking about it--- wrestling with the idea. He was highly tempted. It was wrong though. But having sung the song for Harry made him realize that Harry was the one he had been looking for all his life. The only thing that was wrong was that Harry was too young. Too damn young.  
  
He was perfect otherwise. He had a dry wit about him that came from experiencing experiences of life and death that most people his age had never gone through. It matured him enough that Severus didn't have to deal with an immature mind. That coupled with his musical genius was what made Harry suitable to work with. It was the other aspects of his personality, his generosity and his spirit that made Severus ache for him.  
  
It didn't hurt that Harry was gorgeous either. That wasn't his main selling point. It was his soul, his being that was. Did he dare? He hadn't failed to recognize for he had, but there was another factor making this a doomed hell. Harry was twenty years younger than him. That was a significant difference. He didn't mind Harry's youth but he was afraid that Harry would eventually mind the difference in their years.  
  
How could he not? When Harry would be in the prime of his life, he'd be feeble and old. Feeble and old, used up and unwanted. Used up and unwanted. Hadn't that been his life so far? How tragic. How sad. What sorrow.  
  
He hated pity. He despised self pity. Yet he felt it.  
  
He didn't know what to do. He was so--- undecided.  
  
~  
  
Author's Note: I lied. I'm going to try to finish this story ASAP. I'm trying to finish this by chapter 12, which means I'll be shortening up the plot dramatically. If there is a sequel to this, it won't be written anytime soon. If you like this story, I highly recommend checking out my other non-magic AU: In Preparation or To the Point of Exhaustion. Anyway, review! I adore reading them!  
  
Thanks to sentarla, laventeli, The angelic vampire (hehe, I understand the skepticism), Nelum, Honor, Jes Imagin, Xyverz, Irihi Safaia, crissy, selua, Jess the Great, Keha, Tempest8, Coo, Setsuri, TommieBoy182, Lee Lee Potter (I go as fast as I can with 5 WIPs), Kateri1, me ^.^, DaughterofDeath, Enivrement (aw, thanks), Malakai (I must peddle considering this story is nearing the end of it's cycle), The Shadow Bandit, The Goddess Artemis, FerretMalfoy, Korinna Myorin, athenakitty, Shinigami061, pixyfairy120, chibi (too many stories, but mostly it's school that slows me down), Corgi1, ntamara, Ms. Padfoot, abraxis.  
  
Jane: There's someone with a name similar to yours, if not the exact same that's been flaming me ^^;; about AU's. As you can see in most of my stories, I tend to favor Lucius/Narcissa relationships. It's just because it tends to work out in my stories and it's different from Lucius/Narcissa hating each other.  
  
Cassa-Andra: Yes, I realized what made the last chapter was that Harry was actually shown as sick. I've talked about it but I haven't really shown it.  
  
Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen: Geez, I wanted to kill ff.net for you when it took down your story. I just hope it doesn't do that to me. Your new story is intriguing, just haven't gotten time to review it yet. 


	10. Goodbye, Farewell

Title: **Wishes Are For Dreamers**

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: Blackumbridge

~

10: Goodbye, Farewell (September 28, 2003 to October 2, 2003)

The last few days Severus spent with Harry were sheer perfection.  They locked themselves in the music studio, only coming out to take care of the essentials before shutting themselves in once more.  They scarcely saw anyone but themselves; they locked themselves in perfecting song after song.  They didn't really change the lyrics of any songs, but they did sharpen and tighten the music.  

They came away from the experience respecting each other's musical genius even more.  It was certainly true what that reporter Alicia had said about Harry, he was a musical genius.  He knew more about musical theory than Severus wanted to hazard a guess.  Partially it was because he had gone to one of the best music schools in the UK and the other thing was that Severus, himself had never really been interested in classical theory.  In his music, he liked to break it.  

But still he had to respect Harry's knowledge.  It was amazing how you could keep the theory spot on and still create a song that wasn't the least bit boring.  At least that was what Harry had successful done with "Rhapsody," tweaking it in such a way that the storming movements were written more like a symphony than a rock song.  The concept worked brilliantly.  

As everything had to, it slowly came to the end.  Nearing the end, Severus began to really see that Harry was sick--- extremely sick.  McGonagall had almost had to rush him to the emergency room when he'd woken up one morning with blood covering his sheets.  However, Harry had refused to go--- even with McGonagall screaming at him that he had to.  He needed to.  

Logically, Harry pointed out that it wouldn't do him any good to go to the hospital since every time he went--- it only weakened him further.  Nothing that the hospitals here could do for him that he hadn't already tried.  That's why he was going to a highly specialized hospital in New York this weekend to try an experimental treatment with gene therapy to help cure him.  It was the only treatment he hadn't tried yet.  

Severus never mentioned Harry's sick bouts in the morning, instead he strove to make the young man forget.  It worked out perfectly.  By the end of a hard, strenuous session--- even if Harry was looked utterly exhausted--- he had a bright smile on his face.  The last day though, in the middle of one of those sessions, Harry began violently coughing.  Blood forced its way through his throat and out onto the towel Harry had grabbed to cover his mouth.  

This last episode only further reminded Severus that Harry was dying.  Astonishingly, his eyes began to tear up as he couldn't look at the horribly tragic scene of Harry coughing up his life away.  This was too much.  He got up from the piano where he'd been reworking one of his songs and swept out the room.  Usually he wasn't the type to run from a hard moment, but this was different.  Harry was beginning to mean something to him and it was hard to stay and watch the cancer kill him little by little.  

When he came back, they didn't mention the episode--- continuing instead to work on improving their music.  Halfway through the night, their last night together Severus lost the thread of control that had been keeping him away from Harry.  He actually went up to the young man and grabbed him by the arms, pulling him into his embrace.  

Once he had his arms around Harry's delectable flesh, he lowered his face with desire driving him to kiss those sweet lips.  Sugary sweetness was what he tasted as he pushed his tongue past those lips into Harry's mouth to let their tongues spar  together.  He felt Harry's arms gripping his own, trying to cling to something as they drowned in the ecstatic bliss with each other.  

He shouldn't be doing this.  He shouldn't be kissing Harry.  It wasn't right, especially since Harry was leaving tomorrow, but he was kissing him--- damn it all to hell.  It was a great kiss too.  One of the best kisses that he'd ever had.  There was something sweetly intoxicating about Harry's innocence.  The softness, the way Harry put everything he had into the kiss.  So bloody passionate.  

"We can't do this," Severus finally groaned as he pulled away.  When he finally looked down into Harry's deep green eyes, he didn't see reproach or regret--- only an intense sorrow.  "You're leaving tomorrow."  

Harry turned his face away from Severus so that the older man didn't see the tear that trickled down his cheek.  "Yes," he responded, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning."  He paused, letting the silence fill in the awkwardness of the moment.  "I just wanted to thank you for letting me create music with you.  It's been such an incredible time for me, my deepest wishes have come true."  

Having said that, Harry quickly wiped away the tear that had fallen halfway down his cheek and turned to smile brightly at Severus.  "Thank you, Severus for making this week so extraordinary.  It's been unbelievable."  He then moved hesitantly toward Severus, not seeming sure of what he was going to do when he kissed him gently at the corner of his mouth.  "Good-bye, Severus."  

Severus was too choked with emotion to say anything.  He wanted to say something, but words eluded him.  What did he say?  Stay?  But Harry had to go, he had to go to New York to get the cancer treatment that could save his life.  It would be selfish for him to ask Harry to stay when this could mean the difference between life and death.  And yet the pessimistic side of himself didn't think Harry would survive this, and that he should enjoy the time that he had left on this earth.  

The door clicked close.  His eyes stared at the closed door with a fierce intensity.  Harry had left.  Harry was leaving tomorrow morning, but this was probably the last time he'd see the brilliant young man.  There were press engagements to go to tomorrow, to make the most of his generosity to a terminally ill fan.  He didn't want to go, but he had no choice.  

Farewell, Harry.  Good-bye.  

~

The kiss had been bittersweet.  His last kiss with Severus, his last kiss forever.  While his parents were enthusiastic about the new gene therapy that had proven quite successful with other patients, he was prepared for the worst.  He wasn't as strong as when he'd gone through his first rounds of treatment in his early teens.  He was physically weaker, even if he was mentally tougher.  

That was going to make the difference.  His mind might be able to handle any of the hardships and difficulties thrown at him, but he didn't think his body was going to be able to handle it.  Oh well, what was coming was coming--- there was no stopping it, no avoiding it.  He didn't even want to think about it right now.  All he wanted to do was analyze his last moment with Severus Snape.

It hadn't gone that bad, their good-bye.  Severus hadn't said good-bye to him, but that was okay.  It was easier that way.  If Severus had said something to him, he might have broken down.  He needed strength, and he took strength from Severus' silence.  It was not easy being so detached from the death that was knocking on his door.  But he managed only because he didn't want to seem weak in front of his idol.  

Whatever.  It was done.  It was over.  He was packing tonight and leaving at the break of dawn tomorrow.  He only had a few hours to pack and get ready before he left.  They had stayed in the studio rather late tonight.  He did need to get some sleep before he left.  He sighed and started tossing his stuff into his suitcase.  Life was tedium.  But he knew what to expect.  Death was the unknown.  How terrifying it was.  

It was better to leave things like they were--- ambiguous.  That way he didn't have to acknowledge that whatever feelings Severus had for him were miniscule.  This way, he didn't know--- and he could still dream in the recess of mind that Severus did feel more than he did.  Harry smiled sadly and closed his suitcase.  It was going to be a long night.  

~

"What does he look like?" she asked all of a sudden in a panic, her chocolate brown eyes darting frantically at the gate that was about to open.  "Mrs. Potter, what does Harry look like?  Does he look like you?"

Lily chuckled, her heart filled with a strange warmth that this beautiful young woman was so enthusiastic about meeting her son.  From the limited time she had spent with Hermione, she had grown to adore the brilliant girl.  It was really too bad that her son wasn't inclined to the feminine sex.  Hermione would have made Harry a wonderful girlfriend.  

"No," she responded frankly, "he's the mirror image of my husband, James.  Harry looks exactly like his father."  

"Really?" Hermione queried, her eyes flickering over to where Mr. Potter was standing in a quieter section of the airport.  He was making the final arrangements for the transatlantic flight they were taking in a few hours.  She smiled cheerfully, her focus turning back to the arrival gate.  "Now I know who I'm looking for then."  

It was when she was turning to look over that the doors to the gate burst open and the expected crowd of passengers spilling out instead were frantic flight attendants shouting for someone to dial 911.  Fear gripped Hermione's heart.  Was it possible that it was Harry that they were calling 911 for?  Dear god, she hoped not, not after all that he'd done for her--- he deserved so much more.  

Lily's heart plummeted.  Was it Harry?  Good lord if it was.  She knew he'd been feeling awful lately, but being the stubborn young man that he was--- he'd refused to go to the nearby hospital for treatment.  He did have a point.  There really was nothing they could do anymore, besides pump him with so much medication that it weakened him even more than if he hadn't gone to them.  Her poor baby.  

It couldn't be Harry.  It couldn't be.  She felt the life being squeezed out of her being as she felt her husband's arms wrap around her comfortingly.  "It's going to be all right," he whispered to her fiercely.  "You know Harry would have told us if things got that bad, you know it."  

"But he's so stubborn," she bemoaned as she buried her head into his neck.  "You know how he is, he's just like me.  Mulish and unwilling to compromise!"  

"That's what makes him so strong," James murmured.  "If he didn't have that, he never would have survived through the first bout.  You know he's going to make it through this one.  He's too like you to ever give up."  

Lily tried to smile, but failed.  Her eyes were too glued to the gateway to really take in what her husband was saying.  Everything in her was concentrated on the gate, on the fact that it could be her son that was going to come out and need to be whisked to the emergency room.  She wrapped her fingers through the comforting hand James gave to her.  

_Please, don't let it be Harry.  Please, God, don't let it be Harry.  _

There was so much blood.  It was smeared all over one flight attendant and partially on another as they both helped a messy haired young man out of the plane.  She knew that hair anywhere.  It was Harry.  Good God.  Her heart screamed that it couldn't be.  Her soul cried out for it not to be.  But it was.  It was Harry that was the one being rushed to the hospital.  

She felt her husband's arms tighten around her.  If they hadn't been there, she would have fallen to her knees.  All the strength inside of her left her.  Why did it have to be Harry?  Not when he was so young and so talented; he had so much more to live for.  Why did it have to be Harry?  Why did it have to be her son?  

_No, not my Harry, not my precious little baby boy.  Please, God, take anything--- anything--- just don't take my son away from me.  Do you hear me?  _Her soul was screaming this, her heart was crying this.  _You can't take him away, he's not ready to go.  He's got so much more to live for.  I'm not ready to let him go!  _

"We've got to go," James declared in a shaking voice.  "We'll follow them in another car to the emergency room.  Come on, Lily--- Hermione, they're going to take us.  The flight attendants."  

Hermione was numb.  This was a nightmare.  She had dreamt many times of this moment.  But even in her worst expectations, she had never thought this up.  This was too terrible for thought.  Why was this happening to Harry?  Why did such a horrible thing have to happen to someone that was so inherently good?  Why?  Why?  

There was no logical reason.  Good people should be rewarded with good things happening to them, this certainly was not a good thing happening to Harry.  Her heart cried out for him.  She didn't understand.  Why did he have to suffer while she lived?  He should have taken the chance; he shouldn't have been so generous with her even if the chances of his body accepting the donor would have been slim.  

Humans were inherently selfish.  Harry should have been.  He should have been selfish this once.  "Harry," she whispered his name delicately, so softly only she heard, "you fool."  

~

"You're a fool," Lucius stated, a frown marring his patrician features.  "You need to stop mopping around here, thinking about what a fool you are and get your act together.  You need to go after him, Severus.  I haven't seen you like this since she walked out you."

There was no need to say her name.  She was the first and the only woman he had ever felt anything for.  Lily Evans.  Beautiful girl, intelligent young woman--- infinitely talented but she threw it all away.  She let her family control her and because of that, she didn't continue on with him at the prestigious University famed for its music program in Australia.  The foolish girl.  

But he realized later, after he wrote the heartbreaking song, _Stay,_ that he'd only been infatuated with her talent.  Because truly, it was his own gender that he was truly attracted to.  He had only obsessed over Lily because it was what was expected of him.  When he'd been that age, he was young and impressionable.  However, things changed when his acquaintance Lucius Malfoy became much closer and introduced him to the pleasures of the male sex.    

It was a revelation.  He'd never really known why he'd never been interested in relationships when everyone around him had been chasing the girls like crazy.  It was because he was interested in boys, and it was because music had always been foremost in his life.  It dictated his life.  He'd done everything required to make music his career.  It still was very important in his life, but the question was, was it the most important?  

He didn't know anymore.  He had two choices to make today.  One, he could go and continue the punishing schedule that Voldemort had made for the recording of this 5th album.  Or two, he could go after Harry Potter and throw away the opportunity to work on an album where he had complete and utter control with a limitless budget.  Was it to be his music or Harry?

Before it never would have been a hard decision.  It was a difficult one now because even Lucius Malfoy, entrepreneur extraordinaire was telling him to go after Harry.  Usually it was not an option for Lucius, anything that would involve losing out on money.  This was a money making venture that he was giving up, and yet Lucius was telling him to do it.  That spoke strongly to him.  

What the fuck did he do?  

Did he go after what his heart was urging him to do and throw away the opportunity of a lifetime?  An opportunity he had worked so hard and so long to get?  His whole life had been built around doing something like this.  Sure, he'd had a lot of control in album 4, but still this was without any restrictions of any kind.  He was producer, mixer, and composer--- everything.  

This was going to be _his _album.  But knowing Voldemort, if he delayed it in anyway he was going to have to pay severely for it.  Nothing ever came easy with Voldemort.  In the first place, Voldemort hadn't wanted to give him so much free rein.  The album would be less commercially geared and that could cause album sales to drop.  But hadn't his fourth album proved that he didn't have to be anywhere near the mainstream to be a chart topper?

As much as he liked to think about this issue in his mind, the  main problem--- the main question was still: did he go after Harry or not?  He'd be throwing a lot of hard work away.  And it could be for nothing.  Because what if Harry didn't feel the same way?  After all, he was so much older than Harry.  So very much older.  

He was haunted by the fact that one day Harry would walk away from.  

"What are you afraid Severus?" Lucius asked lightly.  "Are you afraid that he'll leave you all alone?"  

There was silence that filled the room.  That was the answer that Lucius needed.  

"Severus, who says he'll even have the opportunity to leave you?  Who says he'll even live through this year?  Have you ever thought about that?  It's not always about you, Severus."   

~ 

**Author's Note:** I've been writing a lot of cliffhangers recently.  Oh well, I don't know what else to do.  This had to be done.  Anyway review and maybe if I'm nice, I'll update really soon.  I'm on fall break so it's a possibility and this is actually a priority story right now since I'm almost done.  Yay!  It makes me happy when I actually finish something.  Yay!  

Thanks to Azer, Eaiva le Fay, Sevter, crissy, slytherinsela, Tempest8, The Goddess Artemis, mia snape, TommieBoy182, laventeli, Shinigami061, Katmint – formerly Moonlight, Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen, Xyverz, Mehu, **Lee Lee Potter **(It's actually 3 I gave up on the other 2), newtypeshadow, ShadowWolf, Winnie2, Cait Sith, Tirla, Alicorn1, Erica, lupusdragon, DaughterofDeath, fan, Gray Roses, Abraxis, Lakoma, Redrum, sunrise, athenakitty, Nelum, Corgi1, IncubusSuccubus, atalante, Ms. Padfoot.  

**Cassa-Andra**: Thanks, I try to write lyrics well.  I don't know if I always convey them to the best… since I'm not really that great of a poet.  I'm too straightforward for all that metaphorical meaning.  


	11. Believe in Miracles

Title: **Wishes Are For Dreamers**

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: Blackumbridge

~          

11: Believe in Miracles (October 10, 2003 to October 12, 2003)

"We found a donor!" Dr. Weasley cried out enthusiastically as she burst into Harry's private hospital room.  "Dr. Pomfrey just called me to let me know!  The bone marrow is in France and it's being flown over ASAP.  It's a miracle!"  

Harry opened his eyes weakly.  He was barely alive.  Barely.  The past few days had been miserable.  He'd had more junk pumped into his system than he was able to stand.  It was a wonder that he was still breathing with the amount of radiation they'd forced into his body to keep the cancer at bay.  

He was fortunate.  Thank goodness.  He was going to make it.  He felt it in his gut.  Miracles did happen.  He smiled at Dr. Weasley, her dark red hair and her ever cheerful smile brightened his day.  Ever since he'd been taken under her care, he'd known that she was going to fight every step of the way until the end.  It was nice having a doctor like that.  She reminded him very much of Poppy.

"Thank god!" he heard his mother sob.  "Thank god, thank god!"  

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione's eyes water with joyful tears.  Sweet Hermione.  She had been with him every step of the way.  No one understood better than she did what he was going through.  He was so thankful to have her at his side, so grateful.  She made the hardship enduring.  

No one could understand what he was going through unless they had really gone through it.  Hermione had.  She had been at the edge, holding on by the barest grip onto life.  It was a miracle she had survived, a miracle that he had given her.  It didn't matter if they had never known each other before their dramatic meeting.  It was like they had always known each other.  They had just to meet to know.  

It was more than the sum of their shared experiences.  They could be the best of friends, if they were given the chance.  The smile on his lips were as much for his parents as it was for Hermione.  He'd hate to have to leave before he really got to know her.  There was just so much… to live for.  He wasn't done living yet.  He wasn't ready to give up.  

"We're prepping for the surgery tomorrow afternoon.  The bone marrow should arrive at noon," Dr. Weasley continued on, her grin only widening.  "The match is nearly perfect.  It's about as good as it gets.  You're a very lucky young man, Harry."   

That he knew, that he knew.  He had gotten a wish of a lifetime and now he was being granted another chance at life.  He was very lucky, and he was very grateful.  "I know, I know that."  

~

He got on the plane.  He went to New York.  He wasn't the only one who was defying Voldemort, next to him stood Lucius and Draco Malfoy.  He couldn't have gotten there without them.  Together, the father and son team were unbeatable.  They arranged everything and got him in New York in less than three days.  It could have been sooner, but chartering a private flight across the Atlantic wasn't that easy.  

It had to be private, he had too many fans and he had to keep his presence out of the press.  It wouldn't do to be shown coming to the States without proper warning.  Especially not when he had no intention of ever performing live in the States, at least not in the next year.  They had been clamoring for him, but he refused.  

He had a limited number of engagements he would do and that he could fulfill perfectly fine in the UK and on the Continent quite easily.  He had no difficulties, more than half of his engagements were in the UK actually.  Only a few concerts on the Continent were sold out weeks in advance, it was nice when he even agreed to do such performances.  

But that didn't matter anymore, none of that mattered anymore.  All that mattered to his heart and to his being was that he got to Harry and told him how he felt before it was too late.  He knew he wasn't in love with Harry deeply yet, but there was this strong connection and he was falling in love with the young man.  Good god, he knew that was the case.  He couldn't stop thinking about the brilliant Harry.  

His thoughts revolved around him.  On the plane, he had penned a song, a song that he hoped would never come true.  But he wouldn't know, god forbid, he wouldn't know until he was in New York.  And he was in New York right now.  But if there was any song that spoke his feelings to Harry, it was this song.  He planned to sing it to Harry, acapella.  

"Severus!" Lucius called out.  "Let's go, Draco's found a cab."  

~

"You know I can't believe you actually got the chance to meet Severus Snape," Hermione exclaimed cheerfully.  "He's rather reclusive, I've heard, and even more--- he's an amazing songwriter."  

"I know," Harry murmured, leaning his head into the curve of Hermione's neck, "it was unbelievable.  And---" he blushed a light pink, "I kissed him--- and he kissed me."  

Hermione knew that Harry's preference rested strictly with males.  That was one of the first secrets he had divulged to her.  It hadn't been hard, like it always had been before, almost no one but his parents knew that he was gay.  There was something about Hermione that made him spill his secrets to her.  It was just that he knew she would understand.  

"I think when you get better," she whispered into his ear, "that you should meet up with him again.  I think from what you've told me, that he really likes you as much as you like him."  

"I think I love him," Harry moaned, burying his head even more into Hermione's warmth.  "That's the problem."  

"Oh Harry," Hermione responded, wrapping comforting arms around him, "I'm sure if you wanted to make him fall in love with him, you could.  You're an incredible young man, and if you weren't you wouldn't have been granted this miracle.  Fate is finally being good to you."  

Harry smiled.  "I've been blessed, haven't I?"

"Yes," she answered, "you have."  

~

They were here.  It had taken a few hours to find the right hospital, but found it they had.  It didn't hurt that they had his celebrity status to help him.  They had had to use it.  It was undoubtedly going to be in the papers tomorrow.  Damn it all.  It couldn't be helped.  

The elevator was taking bloody forever.  Severus tapped his fingers impatiently against the wall until the stainless steel door finally opened.  They were there.  His eyes widened with disbelief as his eyes rested on the one he thought had been the love of his life, only to realize he had wanted it to be but it hadn't--- the one and the only, Lily Evans.  

Her eyes were red.  Bloodshot.  What was she doing in the hospital?  It was then a horrible feeling crawled down his spine.  Her green eyes were the exact same shade as Harry's.  Was it possible that Harry was Lily's son?  It was just too much coincidence that Lily was here, standing just outside of the few rooms that were on the highest floor of the hospital.  

And how many people had such intense green eyes like that?  

"Lily?" he called out throatily.  

She had been positioned away from seeing him, though in perfect view for him to study her.  She turned to him, startled.  "Severus?"  

"It's good to see you again," he croaked.  

"Good to see you too," Lily murmured, her eyes misting over.  She knew why Severus was here.  She was glad he was here.  Harry could use someone to cheer him up.  And she had always known that Severus was a good man, even if he was far too obsessed with his music than she thought was for his own good.  "You're here to see Harry aren't you?"  

"Yes," he answered hoarsely.  "I'm here to see Harry."

She beamed at him.  "Well come on, I'm sure Harry would be overjoyed to see you.  Through the entire plane ride back, he's talked nonstop about you.  You really made an impression on him, then I didn't doubt that you would."  

"You're his mother, aren't you?" he asked bluntly.  

She nodded, not seeming that taken back by the question.  "I am," she responded.  "This way, his room's at the end of the hallway.  It's got the best view."  

There was an awkwardness between them as they walked toward Harry's room.  It was a discomfort that Severus wanted to erase especially if he wanted to pursue her son.  "Lily, you do know it never would have worked between the two of us, right?"  

She smiled.  "I know," she replied.  "It did hurt at first, but my soul mate is James.  He completes me, and you--- you were an experience that only helped me get there.  I have to thank you for that Severus."  She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.  "But if you hurt my son, you will pay."  

That was like the Lily that he'd known.  A spitfire with a wildness that was never tamed.  "I won't," he promised with a deep sincerity.  He meant every word that he said.  He didn't want to hurt Harry, and from the knowing look in her eyes--- he realized that she understood why he was here.  "I would never hurt Harry."  

"I know that, Severus," she whispered back.  She knew this because if he had wanted to hurt Harry, he wouldn't be here.  Staying away was the most painful thing he could have done to her son, and yet he was here.  She hadn't thought he'd come, but now that he had--- her son had to get better.  He had to.  "I'm glad you came."  

"I'm glad I came too."  

~

No wonder he was falling so hard for Harry.  It all made sense now.  Harry reminded him of all the things he'd loved about Lily.  He had her spirit and her fire, and even more he had a passion and understanding about music.  Harry was perfect, perfect for him.  Any regrets he had about coming here to see him were erased.  Any doubts about singing the song was gone.  

Outside of Harry's door, he steeled himself.  Performances didn't make him nervous, but this wasn't any performance.  He was going to be singing without any background music.  While he had confidence in his music, he didn't have the same confidence in his vocal abilities.  He'd always thought that it was his musical talents that had gotten him far, no matter how many people told him that they loved his voice.  

He knocked on the door, and his apprehension increased when he heard Harry's weak voice tell him to come in, that the door was unlocked.  His poor Harry sounded so tired.  Hopefully the treatment here would do him some good.  Whatever he'd been expecting to see was not to see his Harry with IVs poked into his arms and hooked up to various machines.  What had happened?  What was wrong?  

"Severus," Harry whispered throatily.  "What are you doing here?"  

He was about to answer that he was here to see Harry when he noticed the girl that Harry had his arms wrapped around.  Who was this girl?  What was she doing in the same bed as his Harry?  Had he misread the signs?  He felt anger and jealousy pour through his veins at the way Harry clung to the girl.  That was the way that Harry was supposed to be holding onto him!  Not her!  Not her!  

"I'm here to see you," Severus retorted sharply, his eyes narrowing when he saw the girl whisper something into Harry's ear that made Harry blush.  What was that meddling girl doing?  Didn't she know that Harry didn't like girls?  That he preferred men?  

"I'll leave you two alone," Hermione declared suddenly, slipping away from Harry's arms.  As she was walking past him, she stopped and said something that Severus barely caught.  "It's about time that you came.  I hope you know he's been missing you."  

So she wasn't after Harry.  Relief flooded his veins.  Good, thank goodness.  "Who was that?" Severus asked when she'd left the room.  

"Hermione, she's the girl that I gave up a bone marrow to."  
  


"YOU WHAT?!!" Severus roared.  That stupid idiotic, far too generous young man!  

Harry smiled.  "That's what she told me, but the match was so much better for her.  For me, I'd probably have ended up rejecting it.  The match was as perfect as a match could be, and she was doing far worse than I was.  Now, she's going to live and have a full life.  And," he grinned cheerfully despite the paleness of his cheeks, "I'd say that a certain red head has his eye on her."  

"How are you?" Severus questioned curtly.  "You don't look good."  

Harry studied Severus' expression carefully, did he know?  No, he didn't.  Harry did note that Severus had seemed a bit surprise about the IV and all the machines that he was hooked up too, but he had no way of knowing why this was the case.  For all Severus knew, this was normal.  There was no need for Severus to know he'd been teetering on death's door.  

"They found me a matching bone marrow," Harry told him.  "I'm being prepped for surgery tomorrow morning."  

"Really?" Severus exclaimed, his eyes widening with excitement and the lines in his face softening.  A joy that he hadn't expected rushed through his system.  "That's wonderful, Harry!"  

Harry nodded, and they lapsed into silence.  Neither one of them taking their eyes off the other, but not really knowing what to say.  Finally, Severus decided if he was going to sing the blasted song, he might as well.  "I wrote a new song," he remarked. 

"You did?"  

Severus nodded, running his hand through his hair roughly.  Here went nothing:__

_I should hate you  
But my heart can't seem to  
It'd be easier on me  
If I could, if I did  
Just hate you for leaving me  
Instead my whole being  
Grows heavier with the weight of grief_

He poured anguished into his voice, thinking about how he was feeling on the plane  when he thought that he might never see Harry again if he was too late.  He knew that his eyes were filling with tears, but he couldn't help it.  If there was one person in the world that he could fall in love with, it was this beautiful and fragile young man lying before him.  

_Did you know your passing   
Would kill everything inside of me?  
I am numb without you  
I am nothing without you_

Harry noticed that Severus' eyes were watery, his own were beginning to fill with tears.  Was it possible that this song was about him?  It had to be, and yet it was so powerful--- how could anyone write such a song about him?  So much emotion, so much feeling.  All he'd ever wanted was to touch someone like that, and it looked like he had.  

_Now that I've lost you, I have learned  
Yes, it was really love  
Yes, it was really real  
Too bad it's too late now_

This was hard, Severus' vision was blurry, but even though it was blurred he saw that tears were streaming down Harry's face as well.  He hadn't meant to make Harry cry, he had only wanted to tell Harry how he felt about him.  How strongly, how deeply he felt for him.  He had never meant to make Harry cry.  

_Life has no joy left for me  
I would give up  
But I know you wouldn't want that  
Don't you understand how cold it is without you?  
Especially when I finally found you?  
It's so cold, I'll freeze without you  
I can't live without you_

Severus felt the same way about him like he felt for him.  Harry didn't know whether to be overjoyed or filled with sorrow.  While the prognosis was optimistic, they wouldn't know until after the surgery if it'd be successful or not.  So many things could go wrong.  He could still die.  And his death obviously would hurt Severus.  It was already hurting his parents and Hermione, add Severus… look at how many he was hurting.  That hurt him.  

_Did you know your passing  
Would kill everything inside of me?  
I am numb without you_  
_I am nothing without you_

"What's the name of the song?" Harry choked out.

"_Numb Nothing_," Severus answered hoarsely.  "That's how I'll feel if you aren't there with me.  I'm--- I'm falling in love with you."  

Harry couldn't believe it.  He didn't know how to react.  

"Kiss me."  

Lowering his head down, Severus pressed his lips against Harry's  in an achingly tender kiss.  He'd been filled with nerves that Harry didn't feel the same way, but when Harry had asked him to kiss him--- he'd seen the astonishment and the desire in Harry's eyes.  Harry wanted him even if he couldn't say it yet.  Even if he couldn't say it yet, he wanted him.  

As long as Harry wanted him, Severus was certain he could make Harry fall in love with him as hard as he was falling in love with him.  Nudging Harry's lips open with a flick of his tongue, he devoured Harry's sweetness.  The flavor of Harry was intoxicating.  How had he ever let Harry go?  How had he ever said good-bye to Harry?  

His arms tightened around Harry's waist.  He wasn't ever going to let go of Harry.  Never again.  Harry wasn't going to leave him; he wasn't going to allow that.  Harry was his.  

Harry pulled away from the kiss and fear traveled down Severus' spine until he felt Harry place his forehead on his shoulder.  "I never thought you'd feel what I feel for you.  I never thought it was possible for you to love me like I've loved you."  

Happiness blossomed in Severus' heart with the intensity of sun on a summer's day.  

"It is possible," Severus whispered fiercely back.  "I do feel the same way."

"I'm glad," Harry breathed out.  He pressed feather light kisses around Severus' mouth before kissing him hard on the lips.  "I'm glad."  

~ 

**Author's Note:** There are 13 chapters.  Chapter 12 is partly NC-17 so if you want it, you'll have to join my mailing list.  Also, Chapter 13 is short and the wrap up.  But hey the story wasn't as short as I thought it was.  Updates will be weekly now until the story is finished.  I appreciate all the reviews.

Thanks to  Crystal Moon Dragon, PK Snape, ladysnapeiv, anon, Nelum, pencil, chriswiz, witchchild, ShadowWolf, slytherinsela, hypergurl20022, ntamara, lilith, ShadowQuirk, Eternal Cosmos, Jane, The Shadow Bandit, touched, BekaJWP, lupusdragon, Tempest8, DaughterofDeath, Prophetess of Hearts, pixyfairy120, sev1970, Honor, Lolita, blackunicorn, Jess the Great, Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen, The Goddess Artemis, abraxis, crissy, Cassa-Andra, Malakai, Roman de la Croix, Hippy Flower=Voldie's kid, Sylvester, Shinigami061, fan, Winnie2, Joy Cutting, Bluse Rosed Dragon, Yxonomei, Lee Lee Potter, Jes Imagin, Ms. Padfoot, selua, athenakitty, Eaiva le Fay, Corgi1, Kateri1, Alia, Xyverz.  


	12. Fragile Life

Title: **Wishes Are For Dreamers**

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: Blackumbridge

~          

12: Fragile Life (October 12, 2003 to October 13, 2003)

Everything went wrong that could have gone wrong.  

The surgery went terribly wrong at the beginning.   Somehow despite his heart nearly failing twice, Harry pulled through the surgery.  They thought that was the end of the problems; they thought once Harry made it through the surgery that everything was going to be all right.  They couldn't have been more wrong.  

Right after Harry had been stabilized coming out of surgery and everything was looking a whole lot brighter, the bone marrow that was supposed to save Harry's life started killing him instead.  It didn't matter how many anti-rejection drugs that they gave to Harry, flying in specialist after specialist--- Harry's condition continued to deteriorate.  

What was worse was that Harry never even woke up after the surgery.  The last moment any of them got with Harry was before he'd gone under the anesthesia.  That was their last moment with Harry.  It was too unexpected.  The chances of rejection, as swift as that were exceedingly rare; the chances of the surgery going as wrong as it had, even rarer.  

Three days after the surgery, the only thing keeping Harry alive were the machines that pumped in what his bone marrow couldn't provide him any longer.  But it wouldn't be long before even the machines couldn't sustain him, not with the rate that the cancer was growing.  And there was no telling if Harry would ever wake up.  His parents were faced with the ultimate decision.  

Did they wait and see if Harry might wake up?  Or did they take him off life support and let his soul rest in peace?  Because if he woke up, the pain he'd experienced before was only a fraction of the pain that he'd feel now.  It had gotten that much worse, and there was almost no hope of a cure.  

The hopes of finding a match better than the one that they'd transplanted into him were slim at best.  That and the waiting list was incredibly long.  The fact was, his body refused to adapt to a new bone marrow.  And they couldn't retrain his body to accept it if it didn't want to.  

Even the drugs that were suppose to fool it weren't working.  They had even upped the dosage to dangerous levels in hopes it would suppress his body's immune system from attacking the donated bone marrow.  It hadn't worked, and it had only ended up worsening Harry's already tenuous condition.  

Severus was glad it wasn't him that was faced with the decision.  Because he didn't know honestly what was worse--- giving Harry the chance to live again only to see it snatched away or letting Harry die when he had been at his happiest knowing that he had a chance at living again.  And if Harry were to come out of his coma, all he would have would be death and pain.  Pain and death.  

~

That last night though was as perfect as perfect could be.  That last night had been perfection.  He could still remember the feel of Harry in his arms.  It was a night that he would never forget.  How could he?  

_"Severus, can I ask you something?" Harry queried shyly as he rested his head on Severus' chest.  _

_"You can ask me anything."  _

_"Do you remember that time when I asked you to make love to me?"  _

_Severus nodded, feeling a tightening in his groin just thinking about that.  He'd been so tempted then to take what Harry was offering.  "Yes," he whispered hoarsely, "I remember.  How could I forget?"_

_Harry chuckled.  "You didn't seem very interested when I posed the question."  _

_"Not interested?" Severus scoffed, his arm tightening around Harry's waist.  "I was very interested, very intrigued.  Who wouldn't be when a divine young man was offering himself?"  _

_"Well," Harry began with a pout, "you did refuse my offer.  It must not have been that tempting then."  He wiggled suggestively in Severus' lap.  "But I'm going to ask again anyway.  Will you make love to me?"  _

_All the blood that had been residing in Severus' brain rushed downward to his crotch.  His body, he thought wryly, was quite for the suggestion.  The problem was that he couldn't, not when Harry was so weak.  Harry needed to conserve all his strength for tomorrow, for his surgery.  "You need to conserve your strength, Harry, for your surgery tomorrow."  _

_"I have strength enough for this," Harry murmured, pressing his hips into Severus'.  _

_"You minx," Severus retorted sharply as he felt what was unmistakably Harry's arousal.  "Harry, we can't."  _

_A frown marred Harry's beautiful face.  "Why not?"  _

_"You're weak," Severus told him regretfully, his hands caressing Harry's body comfortingly.  "Even though I can't make love to you, I still want to show you my love.  Will you let me do that?"  _

_Harry was mesmerized by the tenderness in Severus' voice.  "Yes.  Show me, Severus."  _

_NC-17: [excerpt 955 words] _

~

Severus had never gotten to fulfill that promise.  His heart ached to think of how Harry had pleaded, and how he had denied Harry's plea because he had thought it would be for the best if they waited until afterwards.  After all, didn't they have years to experience their love?  But no, Harry had been ripped away and even if he woke up now, he couldn't deliver the promise.  

Harry would be too weak, and in too much pain to even derive pleasure from his touch.  Regret and guilt had torn into his consciousness, never letting him rest.  Had he done the right thing?  Should he have given in?  What should he have done?  He didn't know.  Good god, he didn't.  

"You know," Lucius began wearily as he collapsed into the chair next to Severus, "I'm glad you came.  And I know what you're thinking, you're regretting something.  I don't know what, but you have nothing to regret, Severus.  You would have had the whole world to regret if you hadn't come.  You made it, you told him how you felt.  There's nothing more you could do."  

"Yes, there was," Severus responded harshly in self condemnation.  "There's more that I could have done, but I refused to!  He asked me to fuck him, but I told him no.  I told him that he needed to conserve his strength.  I did give him a blow job, but he pleaded for me to love him--- and I couldn't.  Even if, god knows, I wanted to."  

"You thought you had more time," Lucius replied sympathetically.  "It's a mistake we all make, and I think you did the right thing.  You gave him something to look forward to afterwards.  If there was anything you could have done, you did it.  You gave him such happiness that day.  And if he dies now, he would have died with happiness and hope.  I for one, hope he doesn't wake up.  He would only wake up to pain and death."  

"I told him I loved him."  

"Good.  But I'm happier that you admitted it to yourself.  I was afraid that you wouldn't.  As much as Harry wanted to hear you say it, you needed to say it more than he wanted to hear it.  You've grown hard over the years, Severus, and distant.  The only closeness you share is with your music, and if not for that--- I daresay you wouldn't be of the living anymore.  

"I'm thankful," Lucius continued with all sincerity, "that you allowed yourself to be honest about your love with Harry.  It's not weakness to love someone, and it's certainly nothing to regret.  I'd rather spend one day in love than to spend a thousand not feeling.  Life is about emotions and feelings, because what else is there but that?"  

"I don't know," Severus said dejectedly.  "This pain is too much for me to bear."  

"You will bear it," Lucius reassured.  "I bore it when Narcissa died.  And she was my world as Harry could have been yours had you met him sooner."  

"Why is life unfair, Lucius?"

"Because life is cruel."

"But why?" Severus asked sharply, harshly.  "Why is life cruel?  Why?  Why can't it be kind?  Why does it have to be unfair?  Especially to Harry, especially to him when he was such a generous and kind soul?  Why?  Why to Harry?"  

"To teach people like us," Lucius answered wearily.  "To teach people like us that there are people like Harry and Narcissa out there.  I know I'm a bastard, and I know that I'm still a bastard, but I like to believe that knowing and loving Narcissa and having lost her has made me less of a bastard than I was."  

"I still don't understand."

"You don't have to understand.  You only have to accept."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Then you will be miserable," Lucius predicted.  "When you needn't be."  

"What if I want to be miserable?"  

"Do you think that would make Harry happy, knowing that his death has made you unhappy?  Do you think Harry would want that for you?"

"No."  

"Then, why not be happy for him?  You know that would make him happy.  Harry had a generous soul, he only wanted to make people happy.  Why else would he have given a stranger a chance at life?"  

"He should have taken that chance."

Lucius shrugged.  "He's not selfish like we are."  

"No, he's not."  Severus paused as if thinking of something.  "What if he wakes up?"

"Then he will live in pain only to face death again."  

~

[1 year later.]

Harry never woke up.  His parents gave him six months in which to wake up before they pulled him off the machines, but he never woke up.  When those six months passed, they found they couldn't let go of their son.  They didn't pull the plug.  They said they'd give him another six months.  Another six months passed.  It had been a year, and Harry still was in a coma.  

"You need to let him go," Hermione pleaded, tears filling her eyes.  Her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy stood behind her with his arms around her, supporting her.  "He's not coming back, and he should be allowed to rest."  

They all come back to New York to try to plead with the Potters to let their son go.  It hadn't been easy on any of them.  Lucius didn't know if it had been harder on the Potters or on Hermione or on Severus.  All of them had been drastically affected, even as his son and himself had been.  All the anguished memories of his wife's own death resurfaced, depriving him of sleep as he dreamt of those awful last few months.  

"But what if he wakes up?" Lily cried out.  "There are comatose patients that have been known to wake up!"  

"And if he wakes up, Lily?  What then?" Lucius addressed her directly.  "You know the only reason he's survived this long is because he is unaware of the pain.  You know the doctors have told you that if he were to wake up, the pain would be unbearable even with the medication.  Let him go, let him not suffer anymore.  I would know.  My wife suffered so much her last three months."  

Lily sobbed and sagged against her husband.  It was so hard, letting go, especially when it had to be their decision.  She knew her husband was letting her decide, and it made it that much harder knowing it was her choice.  "Lucius is right, Lily," James declared with a note of finality.  "It's time to let go."  He nodded at all of them kindly, yet tiredly.  "We'll tell them to take Harry off the machines tomorrow.  Thank you for all coming for his birthday.  It would have made him happy knowing that you were all here."  

They all nodded and filed out of the room to give his parents some privacy.  The last one to leave was Severus, and he only left after pressing a hard kiss on Harry's pale and cool lips.  He did it in front of James and Lily without the slightest care.  They knew of his love for their son, and while he didn't think they quite approved--- they didn't turn him away either.  

"Good-bye Harry.  I love you."  

One last kiss and he was gone.  

~

**Author's Note:**  There's one more chapter (when I say "the end" that's when a story's over).  I won't add you to the mailing list.  To get the NC-17 scene you will need to join the MOP mailing list, which is the only mailing list I have for anything Harry Potter related.  It'll be in the file sections and labeled accordingly.  BTW hopefully the NC-17 doesn't seem too unrealistic.  Also if you like this story, you should like "In Preparation" (another HP/SS that's geared to be happier) and my original fanfiction "Queer Life" (humor base, and there's a link to my fictionpress id on my profile, not that it's hard, same penname.)

Thanks to Lillian-and-Lime, Seiri, Whitefeather, Katmint-formerly Moonlight, dark vampire, Katrina Tonak, Tempest8, Sardius-Sky, Jane, Nelum, bramblerose-proudfoot, Illucia, slashstruck, slytherinsela, Sulitari-Draugwen, Eaiva le Fay, Setsuri, fan, Shinigami061, Alicorn, Chyna16, Alia, nekoOsama, Infinity Serenity, Heather, SilveredDeath, MinaXP, The angelic vampire, NayNymic, sev1970, Leshana, Queen of Vegetasei, Silv3rang3l, wintermoon2, Eternal Cosmos, Cassa-Andra, Winnie2, Corgi1, A Typical Snarry Fan, peekerachi, DaughterofDeath, Jess the Great, Joy Cutting, asa-chan, Ms. Padfoot, Maximum Poofy-Pissed Off Queen, crissy, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Redrum, athenakitty, pixyfairy120, Hippy Flower=Voldie's kid, Crow21681, Xyverz, The Shadow Bandit.


	13. Waste Not Away

Title: Wishes Are For Dreamers

Author: Yih

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, only the AU scenario.  

Beta: Blackumbridge

~          

13: Waste Not Away (October 6, 2003)__

_"Waste Away" by Yih_

_  
I know you don't want to think about tomorrow  
But it is another day  
And whether you make it a new beginning or not  
It will come like any other day_

_The sun will rise, the darkness will fade  
And you have the choice to decide  
If you'll stay and mourn inside  
Or come out and live once again_

_You know I want to see you live again  
You know I can't stand to see you sad  
It breaks my heart, it makes me cry  
You know I want to see you live again_

_I know you don't want to think about tomorrow  
But it is another day  
And whether you make it a new beginning or not  
It will come like any other day_

_You know he wouldn't want you to waste away  
Not alone, not here, not now, not when  
He loved you as much as you loved him  
You know he wouldn't want you to waste away_

_I know you don't want to think about tomorrow  
But it is another day  
And whether you make it a new beginning or not  
It will come like any other day_

_You know he wouldn't want you to waste away  
Not alone, not here, not now, not when  
He loved you as much as you loved him  
You know he wouldn't want you to waste away_

_I know you don't want to think about tomorrow  
But it is another day  
And whether you make it a new beginning or not  
It will come like any other da_y

~

It was hard to pen this song.  It was his good-bye song to Harry.  Good-bye Harry.  It was the conclusion.  Good-bye Harry.  It was so hard to write.  But it had to be said.  There had to be a conclusion.  There had to be a good-bye.  

This was it.  He couldn't even write it from his point of view, he wrote it in the point of view of an observer of himself.  But he still wrote it.  He felt Harry would have been proud of him, if he ever could hear the song.  He hoped he did.  Despite it's sad lyrics, the music behind it was hopeful.  

It was nothing like the darkness of _"Numb Nothing_".  Nothing indeed.  It was not a happy song; it was not a sad song.  It was somewhere in between.  Somewhere in between where it fit Harry's life.  A life that was neither filled with joy nor filled with remorse.  

Perfect song for Harry.  

Good-bye Harry.  

Good-bye.  

_Tomorrow would come like any other day.  And he would live it, live it for Harry._

~

The End

~

**Author's Note:** There will be no sequel.  I'm continuously creating new stories, so check out and see if I'll do another non-magic one or not.  I have no idea.  I haven't really thought of one yet.  Anyway, I loved the song for this one and it didn't fit anywhere but at the end, which is why there is this chapter.  Thanks, your reviews have meant a lot and I hope this story meant something.  

Thanks to midnight mystery, Sevter, PainisPurification, wingedlover27, Chyna16, anonymous, cat15, quickjewel, sardius-sky, leeleepotter, dir en gray, da dinkidy dink dink, kimi-sama, jess the great, lolita, witchchild, slytherinsela, mentalstaples, ms. Padfoot, asa-chan, Lillian-and-lime, lilith, athenakitty, corgi1, lupusdragon, felinity, chibi, shinigami061, maximum poofy-pissed off queen, xyverz, crow21681, a typical snarry fan, blue rosed dragon, tempest8, eaiva le fay, lady lacroix, abraxis, joy cutting, the shadow bandit, eternal cosmos, jane, bramblerose-proudfoot, incubussuccubus, crissy, nicky15.  


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